I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good

[alt_ron]

This parchment for Divination is driving me mad. I mean to say, Palmistry? Complete bollocks.

For the first project after hols, we had to use palmistry to read our own futures in the short term, and she made us come up with three things we were going to follow between then and the end of February. So I decided to look into how much I'd grow, and whether I'd end up in the hospital wing at all, and whether my fantasy Quidditch side would improve its win-loss percentage. And my readings came out that I wouldn't grow at all, that I'd have to see Madam Pomfrey three times, and that my Quidditch side was going to have nothing but wins for the whole two months.

Obviously palmistry's bollocks. I've grown at least four inches, haven't got hurt at all, and my Hogsmeade Harriers lost both matches they've played since Hewett got hexed in that duel. If he's not back on his broom for next week's matches, I'm done for. We'll be bottom of the league for sure.

I don't know what I'm supposed to write about it now. Professor Carpenter'll just say I did the readings wrong in the first place and give me low marks for the whole project.

Potions was rubbish today, too. In case you were wondering. I mixed up when I was supposed to add the newt tails, and I had to throw the whole thing out. Another zero for me. Hoo-bloody-ray.

And I heard somebody say it's supposed to rain tonight--that'll make Astronomy just so much fun.

At least we've got Creatures tomorrow. It was dead hilarious yesterday when the Niffler went for Parvati's necklace. And after all the times he's told us not to wear anything shiny! So what does she say to Brown? 'I thought he just meant rings.' How daft can you be?

Comments

[alt_pansy]

This is why I didn't sign up for Divination.

And you've really grown that much? I was wondering why the cuffs on your sleeves were getting so short! I thought it'd shrunk in the laundry, or you'd gotten a batch of Finnegan's shirts by mistake or something.

[alt_sally_anne]

Yeah, everything in Divination sounds like a bunch of rubbish AND Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil both signed up for it. Count me out.

Professor Carpenter should have you do weather reports. Maybe she could tell me whether we'll see the sun again before April.

[alt_pansy]

Haha, maybe we should just count on the weather being the opposite of what Ron comes up with.

[alt_sally_anne]

Good thought. Do you think we can convince him to predict really wretched weather?

[alt_ron]

Actually, that might be worth a try.

And my marks couldn't really get a lot worse than they're going to be when she reads this parchment.

[alt_ron]

Nice.

[alt_pansy]

Well, maybe if your predictions are... I don't know... general enough, they'll be true no matter what.

Like you know you'll get prezzies for Christmas, and you know you'll get into a fight with Percy about something or another, and that sort of thing.

[alt_ron]

I should have asked you before I started.

Figures Divination is a Slytherin thing. Another Slytherin thing.

Tell me again why you aren't taking it? Creatures is definitely a Gryffindor thing, though. And see, I do fine in that.

[alt_pansy]

Well, next time you need help, let me know.

"I'm going to really enjoy my pudding next week."
"My hair is going to get longer."
"Errol is going to lose some of his feathers."
"It's going to rain sometime next month."
"I'm going to get a letter soon."

See? Easy.

[alt_sally_anne]

Or 'we will get disturbing news.' There's always SOMETHING, you know? If you'd said that in the last month you could say that the person who posted a Grim Truth was the disturbing news but even if she hadn't it could have been that Quidditch player getting hexed or anything, really.

[alt_sally_anne]

Or 'Carrow will act insane in his journal.'

'Percy will be a bigheaded git.'

'There will be a fight in the corridors this week and someone will lose points for Gryffindor.'

[alt_sally_anne]

And we're not taking Divination because it's a load of rubbish! Ancient Runes are actually useful. I kind of agree that Creatures is a Gryffindor subject but I like it anyway!

[alt_ron]

Yeah, I don't know how much I've really grown. Since I haven't had to go see Madam Pomfrey at all. So I'm just guessing, but yeah, it looks about that much that my cuffs and the bottom of my robes have shifted upwards.

And I can always tell my robes from Finnickies'. On mine the cuffs and collars are always frayed 'cause somebody else wore them first. George or Fred. Or Percy and George and Fred.

[alt_sally_anne]

I was wondering why you hadn't used a lengthening charm but if it's worn it might not take to it. I lengthened my sleeves last week but I made them a little too long and I keep getting the sleeve of my robe in my porridge at breakfast.

[alt_ron]

Er. Why haven't I lengthened them?

Well, mostly because I didn't want to fuss with it, I guess. I'd probably just put holes in it if I tried.

You could do it for me, I guess, if you know the charms to use. Is that something they taught you in those Sisters of Watsit meetings?

[alt_sally_anne]

No, actually, I learned from your mum. Not directly, but she sent me a book last winter when the Strettons were having me do all the cooking. It's called Mrs Blandifoote's Essential Household Spells Every Bride Should Know -- I think your grandparents gave her a copy when your parents first got married? It's simple household charms. The main reason she sent it was for the cooking section, it's full of really easy things you'd almost have to try to mess up, but it's got other useful spells and one of them is a lengthening charm for clothes.

I could try it but the book warns that if the clothes are nearly worn out, the lengthening charm might not take (or it might weaken the fabric so it wears holes faster).

[alt_sally_anne]

And she knew I wasn't a BRIDE of course but it's spells for housekeeping, and that's what the Strettons were having me do.

It's a really useful book. They probably SHOULD be using it at the Sisters in Witchcraft meetings, at least when they're teaching us household things. Mrs Catchlove's spells aren't nearly so practical, she's more about How to Set a Really Pretty Table. I couldn't have cared less about setting a pretty table last winter, all I cared about was getting dinner made so I would have something to eat and the Strettons wouldn't be cross with me.