Private Message to Daphne Greengrass

[alt_ron]

Hey.

I've been thinking. About you and about Malfoy, and I know you're probably not doing too well tonight.

Just- well, I guess I don't know what to say, except I'm sorry.

And thinking about you.

Comments

[alt_daphne]

Hi, Ron. I'm sorry to reply so late. You'll be asleep by now, I'm sure.

Thank you for thinking about me. That's very kind.

Are you

I'm not sure what else to say.

[alt_ron]

Yeah. I've been sleeping a lot. And you wouldn't believe how much I'm eating!

Sorry.

No, really. I guess the thing is, it's all so unreal. I mean, there's everyday stuff and it's going on like usual, and you can't show that you're really thinking all the time about other people and the huge things going wrong in their lives.

That's how it seems to me right now.

So either I'm at work or I'm eating or I'm sleeping, but all the time I'm thinking about Pansy and you and all of it.

[alt_daphne]

You're internship must be taking a lot out of you. And Justin told me about your new flat, and being roommates. I saw the neighbourhood.

I'm proud of you, you know.

Gerald's new company is doing a summer dance and acting workshop for little children, and I'm one of the teachers. It's not very impressive, I suppose. I mean, not compared to other things. The children like it, though. It gives them something fun to do.

[alt_ron]

Thanks. I guess. Proud the Aurors are training me?

Or that Justin and I've got a glam flat in the City? You should come see it now we've moved in, and then come out with us some evening. We've got a few pubs left to try before we decide which one's our local, but there're a few where the crowd's not too dodgy. There's one that has music Fridays and Saturdays in a garden out back. Or we could go to Laszlo's, y'know, where the Tea Appreciation club goes. They've got a beer garden in the evenings. It's nice.

I know you'll be great at teaching. I bet all the kids bring you pressies and want to have hugs when lessons are over.

Are you thinking that's something you want to do after NEWTs?

[alt_daphne]

Yes. What else could I be talking about?

That sounds nice. Of course, I'm not really in the mood to have beer and be celebratory right now. My boyfriend just died and his father's been thrown into Azkaban.

Teaching? Sweet Circe, no. I barely have the patience for them right now. Some of them are sweet enough, but quite a few of them are terrors, just like Astoria was at that age. And besides, now that Gerald has his own company he's going to write a starring role for me in his next production, set to debut next summer. I'll be famous like my Grandmother before me, or like Athena Belby. Well, that's what Gerald says, anyway. We'll just have to see though.

[alt_ron]

Sorry. I didn't mean to make it sound like going out for laughs. Mostly, having a pint after work is just sitting there and not moving because I can't move anymore until I've had a bit of food. And it's nice just to talk a bit. I suppose I didn't really know Justin very well until we moved in together. Still figuring all that out, really, too.

But, yeah. I'm sorry if you thought I was forgetting what's happened. Only, I thought maybe you'd like to be with a few people and, well, just not be alone. Or not be at home. Is your mum being... does she understand how you felt about Draco?

You'll be brilliant in whatever kind of role it is. I can't wait to see it. Sally Anne and I'll come, and I reckon Justin will, too.

[alt_ron]

Say.

I talked to Sally Anne, and she said some things that made me think, I dunno, it made me go back and read what you've been saying here again.

She told you she's part of a group that's trying to change things? Well, you should know that I am, too.

I mean, I expect you've guessed that. But I wanted to tell you. So you didn't think I was fishing for you to say something here or that I wasn't being honest about what I was asking.

That's not coming out quite right.

I guess I just want you to know I trust you to think out what you want to do or want to know. And if you wanted to ask me anything, you could.

But, y'know what. Um. I just feel like I should tell you that it won't change how I think about you if don't want to do anything with what Sally Anne told you. It's not like you've got to do something now. I know you may not want to.

But if you do, well, I guess just- I think there are lots of good reasons to.

[alt_daphne]

Thank you for telling me.

I feel like I won't really have an understanding of what I'm getting into until I'm actually into it. Which is more than a little daunting. What if I don't live up to everyone's expectations, whatever those expectations may be? Has anyone ever changed their mind and left the group? What would happen if someone did?

Ron. Your father didn't die because of this group, did he?

[alt_ron]

No, he died because of the Protector. Because he's made this country such a mess, where the people with power use it to keep their power and take freedom away from most everyone else. And scare the rest of us into not doing anything about it.

Dad didn't die because he was doing anything subversive. He died because he worked for the Ministry. Funny that. In a really unfunny way. You know he died when the IMA set off a bomb at the Ministry's holiday party, because the Protector was going to be there and they thought they could kill him and change the way things are. And Dad, I guess he jumped in to protect Mr Selwyn, just because he saw he was in danger and didn't think about himself at all. And that was so Dad. You know?

But the thing is, he worked at the Ministry. He was part of it. Part of what's wrong, but he was there trying to change it in any way he could. And he did some good things because he was in the right place to be able to do them. But he also did some things he couldn't stand having to do.

And it's going to be the same for me. Worse, probably. I mean, the Aurors? But, yeah. If I want to change things, go get in the middle of it, right? And learn all the spells and strategies they use to keep control. That's the idea, anywiz. But it could go pearshaped fast. Because that's the way things happen. No matter how much you plan them. Things happen you can't ever control.

Sorry. I didn't mean to say all that, but I'm not going to mark it out.

Has anyone ever changed their minds and left? Um, I don't know. I think a few people asked to be Obliviated after they heard a little and decided they didn't want to know about us. Oh, and actually. I think a long time ago there was a big misunderstanding where some people got the idea that one person who's still a member--a really important one now--where some people got the idea this person had betrayed the group. But it wasn't true. That's a hard thing, I guess. Trusting when there's so much at stake. It's what makes it so hard for us all to agree to tell anyone new or try to find new people to join us. It's a big risk.