She thinks I'm an eejit for not being able to do it.
I mean she didn't say that, but she didn't have to, yeah? She said if I'm average at Occlumency, then it should be alright since Auror Lestrange doesn't bother with interns or trainees much. But would you say I'm average at it? How do you measure that, anywiz?
At least she said not to back out now. She said keep trying the animagus transformation. Like I'm not trying every bleedin time I can get somewhere no one will see me.
Sorry. Anywiz, she said stick with it for now. Accept and then find an excuse to back out at the last minute if I have to.
I've been reading that Naked Mole Rat book Lamont gave me again. All that stuff about radical self-acceptance because if your inner animal is a naked mole rat, you need to embrace that fact or you'll never be able to transform. Oh, and owning the fact that your inner animal isn't random but says something about who you are. I mean, I'm trying not to assume I know what form I'll have, but that's so hard. I mean, how can you visualise changing and NOT have some idea what you'll be when you do? Argh!
You know what? Now, I'm just sitting here watching that origami animagus you gave me for my birthday. It's brilliant--a man then a bird then a pig then a cat then a lion then a dog then a owl then a man then whatever it thinks of next. I want that to be me so much!
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branchandroot
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Date: 2014-06-05 03:33 am (UTC)I mean she didn't say that, but she didn't have to, yeah? She said if I'm average at Occlumency, then it should be alright since Auror Lestrange doesn't bother with interns or trainees much. But would you say I'm average at it? How do you measure that, anywiz?
At least she said not to back out now. She said keep trying the animagus transformation. Like I'm not trying every bleedin time I can get somewhere no one will see me.
Sorry. Anywiz, she said stick with it for now. Accept and then find an excuse to back out at the last minute if I have to.
I've been reading that Naked Mole Rat book Lamont gave me again. All that stuff about radical self-acceptance because if your inner animal is a naked mole rat, you need to embrace that fact or you'll never be able to transform. Oh, and owning the fact that your inner animal isn't random but says something about who you are. I mean, I'm trying not to assume I know what form I'll have, but that's so hard. I mean, how can you visualise changing and NOT have some idea what you'll be when you do? Argh!
You know what? Now, I'm just sitting here watching that origami animagus you gave me for my birthday. It's brilliant--a man then a bird then a pig then a cat then a lion then a dog then a owl then a man then whatever it thinks of next. I want that to be me so much!