I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good

[alt_ron]

Do any of you lot know whether they've found out anything about the Patils' little brother? Parvati looks really awful, so I don't want to ask her about it. And obviously I'm not going to go up and ask Padma.

Anywiz, I just wondered 'cause, y'know, it's really

I keep thinking what it would be like if one of us

and how it would be for Mum

or how it would feel to, y'know, just never see the twins again or even Ginny

yeah

it'd be awful

Comments

[alt_hermione]

No, I don't know. I tried asking Harry but he just snapped at me that I oughtn't think he gets any special information just because he's the Lord Protector's son. I suppose that means other people have been asking a lot too.

[alt_neville]

I want to know what's wrong with Seamus. Is there some reason for him to be really upset about the Patil kid, other than being friends with Padma and Parvati, I mean? Because he's acting like this is driving him around the twist or something.

He's been bolting for the shower first thing in the morning when he gets up. Usually he waits until the last possible second to get dressed. And did you know he threw up in the loo after Muggle Studies this morning? I know that Miss Professor Carrow was telling lots of gory stories about the terrible stuff that Muggles used to do to kids when they kidnapped them but...I took him to the Hospital Wing. And he asked me the strangest question while we were waiting for Madam Pomfrey.

He asked what I'd have for my last meal if I knew I was going to die. And did I think I could act normal?

[alt_sally_anne]

He asked you what? Was he saying you don't act normal?

[alt_sally_anne]

I really can't stand Padma so it's really odd feeling so sorry for her.

I think her brother's probably dead, or someone would have made a demand or they'd have found him or something. She looked terrible in Defense this morning. At least Lockhart didn't seize the opportunity to tell us horror stories about muggles murdering children like Alecto Carrow did. I heard Lavender was just furious because of the effect on Parvati, I don't know if she noticed about Finnigan.

Why would anyone kidnap and murder a little boy?

[alt_sally_anne]

Or wait, he was asking if you thought YOU could act normal if you were going to

Does he think the person who killed Sanji is after him next? WHY?

[alt_sally_anne]

Pansy's been beside herself too.

I think she thinks Regulus had something to do with Sanji but she can't stand to look at it straight on. But, she thinks the Lord Protector is punishing Regulus by making him do terrible things, and it's killing him, Regulus I mean. I know Lucius Malfoy said Regulus was just angry at being left out of something but I don't think Pansy believes it, and THAT is tearing Pansy apart because she feels toward Lucius Malfoy, oh probably the way Luna feels toward Ron's mum. He's always been there for her, he's always been kind to her, he's always protected her -- I mean for Merlin's sake he went after Lana Sandoval in the journals because she cruciated me, all because Pansy was upset about it after.

Anyway Pansy can't stand to think Lucius is in on whatever the terrible thing is that Regulus is doing, and she can't stand to think of Regulus doing something terrible, and yet she's too clever and too thoughtful to just go on lying to herself that everything's fine. She KNOWS even if she can't altogether admit it.

No wonder she had an ulcer.

I feel a little guilty for blaming Padma. About the ulcer, I mean, the cruciatus was still her fault. Maybe I should apologise, I'll have to think a bit on how to do that.

[alt_sally_anne]

And you know what really scares Pansy. REALLY scares her.

She's always been told to follow the rules and do as you're told and everything will be alright. I mean, it's not as if she's always followed the rules (ha! far from!) but when she's gotten punished for things, or everything's gone horribly wrong (like when she had to go stay with horrid Mrs Black) she's always been told that if only she'd been more careful to toe the line, things would have been better.

So now Regulus is clearly doing what he's told. To the LETTER, he's obeying the Lord Protector. And things are not going well for him, whatever it is he's doing is killing him a little at a time.

And that's making Pansy wonder, will obedience really keep her safe? What if they tell her to do something HORRIBLE?

[alt_neville]

I think he was thinking of himself. But he was asking me about myself like--like, uh what's that word? Hpertheticle. But then it was like he thought he had said too much, and he shut it after that.

He looked so scared and sick. Well, maybe just because he felt like he was going spew again.

I haven't seen him come back to classes after lunch.

[alt_neville]

I know what you mean about how weird it is feeling a little sorry for Padma. Parvarti isn't nearly as bad, anyway. Or maybe she's just less nasty to people in her own house.

About apologising: do you think that if Padma could have thought of a way to make Pansy bleed from the mouth she would have done it?

Yeah, me too.

No, I wouldn't apologise. Or at least until some months have gone by and she's treating people decent.

[alt_ron]

They lie to her, and, yeah, to fit in you have be willing to be really nasty to people. It's like Seamus. He wants to fit in, and so he does whatever Patil wants him to do--like hex me and my journal, the git. And goes around sneering at people and rubbing people's noses in how they're not as good as other people. And I can't even tell if really likes Patil. Really, I think it's Malfoy he wants to impress. I mean, have you seen him since Malfoy said he was going to think about who could come to his party and who couldn't? It's mad, really. (I mean, I guess maybe it looks different to me since I know he'd rather die than invite me along. And, yeah, never mind.)

I think you're right about that Mr Black, too. And I'm really sorry for Pansy about it cause she really likes him, and sometimes I think about how they seem kinda alike, you know, from what she's said about his Mum and hers and what people expected of them growing up and everything.

[alt_ron]

Months? More like never!

[alt_ron]

Yeah. It's not Padma I feel sorry for, though. Or Parvati either. I mean, it doesn't change how nasty they are to everyone. But it's still really awful, you know? To think about what could have happened, and to think about how it would feel to not know. I mean, it's like Luna. For so long not knowing where her father was or whether he was really sick or if maybe she was being lied to. And now she finds out he's dead. It's just. I knew her father, and he was really strange and kind of mad, really, but he was also just Luna's father and someone my Mum and Dad are friends with and

I don't know. I kind of wonder whether we're really going to get to go home for summer or whether things have got really bad out there. I mean, don't you get the feeling that there's loads of stuff we don't know and nobody wants us to. It's just

I dunno.

[alt_ron]

I don't see what he's got to worry about with Mr Rosier as his guardian. He's safe as houses.

I think it was just something he ate didn't agree with him.

[alt_neville]

I dunno, Ron. I can't quite explain it, but...it seemed like there's something going on with him and we have no idea what it is.

[alt_ron]

Well, I agree he's been acting dodgy today.

I guess I just thought it was, well, never mind because, yeah. There's definitely something odd going on now. He just came through the common room and looked like--I dunno, not like he usually looks.

Not smug and all, like everyone should see how special he is. He actually looked like he just really wanted for no one to say anything to him, and he was really odd with Lavender when she cornered him before he could go upstairs. Anywiz, he got away fast and practically ran upstairs. But with him, who knows, really?

[alt_sally_anne]

Padma suggested last night that maybe it was the Irish muggles who took her brother. And then he threw up after Muggle Studies.

Maybe he thinks his father's the one who did it? I mean, so far as I know he doesn't know his father, but I can say for a fact that plenty of halfbloods learn to tell lies about their family from a young age. Maybe he thinks it's his father, and his father's going to come for him next? That really seems like a leap, though.

[alt_sally_anne]

Things were bad at the Stretton's muggle camp at Christmas.

I don't know. Maybe you're right, though mostly grownups in the journals are just whinging about how their favourite shops are closed and they can't get any lemon peel, or the quarantine means they can't see Cousin Maude, nothing really dreadful.

[alt_sally_anne]

I'm trying not to think about Draco's party. I really hope he invites me but I won't be surprised if he doesn't.

You're right though, I think Finnigan would light himself on fire if he thought it would impress Draco.

I think Pansy does think they're a bit alike, her and Regulus. I think also she talks to him because she can't talk to Sirius, you know, without getting into trouble. Talking to Regulus is the next best thing.

[alt_sally_anne]

Of course you wouldn't!

But I'm a Slytherin.

[alt_ron]

D'you think that's it?

I mean, we asked him one time about his parents, and he was really odd about his father. I'm not sure he's even still alive, his dad. But then he went on and on about how he lived in castles and all, and made it sound like his family's really so important and of course that's why he got such an important man to foster him. At the time I thought it was pretty interesting, but now. Well, it gets old, doesn't it, being told your family's nothing and you smell bad and you're stupid and a mugglelover and all. I mean, honestly. If we don't get to go home after exams, I may seriously lose it with him.

[alt_ron]

Merlin, you really want to go to that git's party? Are you having me on? I mean, who cares if he doesn't invite you?

Well, go ahead if you want and watch Finnigan wet himself whenever Malfoy tells him a joke or whatever.

You think that's what it is with Pansy. It's about the other Mr Black, really? I guess the other one would be sad to know that if it's true. I mean, he seems to think they're really friends.

[alt_ron]

And again with saying that like it's a good thing!

[alt_ron]

Yeah, actually, you're right about that. So maybe it's only bad some places.

I guess you'll hear from the Strettons again now. Maybe? They haven't written you in your journal have they? Do they want you to come this summer, d'you suppose?

[alt_sally_anne]

Well, his mother's family is quite important over in Ireland. If you look at Chronicles of the Protectorate: A Modern History they take sort of a geographical view and they have a whole section on Ireland. Technically his family works under the Ministry but no one here really wants to go over there because it's so dangerous.

It's funny, Padma thinks she's so clever but she had no idea. She thought he grew up poor like I did.

It probably is why he's being fostered by someone so important but now that I think about it, it is a bit strange they're treating him like a half-blood. He's got loads of cousins who aren't at school at Hogwarts; they're schooled at home in Ireland, and I'd have thought Finnigan's mother would want to keep him there and have him educated with the rest of his family. But instead he came here, and the Protectorate has him living in fostering like -- well, like me. Susan Bones is a quarter-blood and she doesn't have to live in fostering. Milli, she's not in fostering. Seamus is truly half, I mean his dad wasn't even a muggleborn wizard, he was a MUGGLE.

Anyway Padma says it wasn't a muggle who did it, so you can watch and see if he acts all relieved now.

[alt_sally_anne]

Maybe, we'll see. They don't write in my journal but they don't write in Jeremy's either. I look at theirs sometimes, it's all business stuff, orders for jam or wool trousers or who knows what.

[alt_sally_anne]

Sure I want to go to his party! The Christmas party was great fun. Besides, if Draco snubs me then Teddy might decide to be nasty to me and Blaise definitely would and Daphne might be a lot ruder than she is now.

And I think Pansy is really friends with Regulus Black, now. Just when she started, though. She talked to him because she couldn't talk to Sirius.

[alt_sally_anne]

It IS a good thing!

[alt_ron]

Well, all right then, if you say so!