Order Only Private Message to Sally Anne

[alt_ron]

Everything alright in there?

Only, I see you're writing Hermione, but she was going to be in there with you, right? What's happened? No one's been hurt, have they?

Comments

[alt_sally_anne]

No, things are going about as well as you could expect. Luna hasn't transformed, she's not dead or anything like that.

Hermione left because she had the information she needed, really, which was whether Wolfsbane might help Luna in some modified form (no) and she was pretty upset, because of course it was making her think about what her father went through. And her mother.

[alt_ron]

As well as you could expect sounds fairly dire by that report.

I'm sorry for Hermione.

I mean, I'm sorry for Luna, too, obviously, but, yeah.

[alt_sally_anne]

Yeah. I'm glad Hermione left, honestly. It's hard to watch. I mean, it's hard enough for me to watch -- at one point we thought she was going to actually transform, and that clearly hurt. I was sort of watching Hermione, too, though, because I knew this was making her really upset.

Mostly Luna's been pacing. Which is actually what a werewolf (a transforming werewolf) will do if they're shut alone in a room and haven't had wolfsbane. Well sometimes they also tear at themselves. (If they've had wolfsbane they'll usually just go to sleep. I mean, unless they work nights, when they're not transformed.)

[alt_ron]

So why is it that she can't have wolfsbane? Not this time, obviously, but why do Hermione and Madam P think she won't be able to take it next month? If it'd make her go to sleep, that'd be good, yeah?

[alt_sally_anne]

Well, the thing about Wolfsbane is that it lets you keep your mind when you transform. It's not that she's lost hers, not the way a transformed werewolf does. She's clearly Luna, just very agitated and stressed.

She looks a little like someone who did a lot of Dark Magic and is now feeling completely beside themselves, like sometimes you do. Except turned up to eleven.

Anyway, we think that the Wolfsbane wouldn't help. (Also, it's not that it makes them go to sleep, it's more that it lets them keep their minds so they can do what they'd normally do at night, which is sleep.) A sleeping potion might be something to try, actually, especially a really strong one, although werewolves metabolise potions differently... anyway.

[alt_ron]

They do? I mean, the way you said that- you mean it's unpredictable how a potion will work on her? That's dead jolly, isn't it?

So...

What was it like when she was about to transform? You said it looked like it was going to happen. And that it looked like it hurt.

Was it

[alt_sally_anne]

I'm here as a Healer so I don't think I should tell you specifics.

But, do you know what happens when a werewolf transforms? It's painful, not like -- well, I assume the animagus transformation isn't painful? None of the books say it's painful. Their joints separate, which hurts quite a bit -- did you ever dislocate a shoulder or elbow, riding your broom when you were little? (Most of the Slytherin Quidditchers had accidents like that at some point.) Also, their skin bubbles up to re-form itself and their bones shift. It's supposed to be worst the first time.

Anyway she didn't transform so not all those things happened. But the worst part was definitely watching Luna, because

Well obviously she's scared. Who wouldn't be? And it hurt. And there's nothing any of us can do, not this month anyway.

[alt_ron]

Yeah.

Watching's hard. But not as hard as for Luna, going through it-


At Eton. When Harry was-

They'd bound him so he couldn't move at all, but the curse was doing horrible things to him. I don't even know how he kept that from You Know Who, but he did. I guess it was- He just thought it was fear. And it was that, too. Harry was dead afraid. I could taste it, y'know? But he was also coming apart in bits on the inside, and it was worse than anything I've ever smelled. Or not smelled, exactly, but-

Doesn't matter. The thing was his face. Harry's, I mean. Once I'd got out of his robes and onto Neville, I could see him.

When He started pulling Harry's soul out, it hurt. Worse than the curse, and he was scared. So scared, Sally Anne. I've never seen anything like that. And then, just in an instant it stopped and he was gone. His eyes went empty and his mouth was- I dunno. Limp.

And then He went into Harry and I could see... it was like everything stretched and broke and came back together. And he still looked like Harry but also didn't. Really, really didn't. The jaw was wrong. And his nose. And the shape of his eyes? I mean, the way he held them open? It was the worst thing I've ever seen.

That's what I dream now. You know?


It makes me go cold just thinking about it. And I can still smell it all. How wrong it smelled.

[alt_sally_anne]

I wish you hadn't had to see
I wish he hadn't had to
I wish

That sounds utterly horrific. No wonder you have bad dreams.

[alt_ron]

Yeah, well. I guess we've all got our reasons for having them, huh?

So... do you have to stay up there all night with Madam P?

[alt_sally_anne]

No, we're going to trade off shifts. Do you want me to come down? I'll need to try to sleep for a few hours and then I'll have to get up again so Madam P can go sleep.

[alt_ron]

Oh. Yeah, do come down. Just to sleep. I mean, that's what we should both do.

[alt_sally_anne]

And --

yeah, a werewolf transformation is a little bit like that. Someone you know, but then something terrifying happens to them and it's not them anymore.

It's not exactly like that with Luna. Which is both better and worse. Because I'm seeing someone I know and like suffering.

If you'd stayed to watch, which obviously I'm glad you didn't, you'd have seen Him suffer from the curse. And die, horribly.

[alt_ron]

Yeah.

I've thought about that. The thing is it still looked so much like Harry (only wrong), that- it would've been too hard to watch that curse take him. Take them both. I'd've-

I don't know. It's just, Harry was-


I really miss him, y'know?

Everytime I go off now to do something for Brodie, I think about what it would be like to have him going out, too. He'd be- Well, it's not that he'd be better at it, but he was brilliant at winding himself up to do things that needed doing. And we could really use some of that now. We could really bloody use that.

And after.

We could talk, y'know?

Sorry.

I'm

[alt_sally_anne]

Yeah.

He'd have been brilliant as an Auror, one of our Aurors instead of one of theirs.

It's not

I don't know

It's sort of ridiculous saying it's not fair because there are eight million things that aren't fair. Losing Harry, losing Neville, losing Daphne, losing Mr Snape, all of it.

[alt_sally_anne]

Anyway, I'm coming down.