I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good

[alt_ron]

Ugh.

Acton made a total meal of it during our lesson today, going through all the Apparent Characteristics of the Curse I was under ('Or was it the journal itself?')--she wrote it all up on the blackboard. Blerg! I was so hacked off I could have curled those long, pointy nails of hers just by thinking about it, but I didn't.

Really, I didn't do anything. I just sat there. And I even answered her questions when she was horrible and made me answer. Mostly because she was trying to make out it might have been a spell that I cast that went wrong because of my wand, and I didn't want to prove she's right that I'm sometimes doing stuff I don't really try to do (when I get frustrated, y'know or angry, like that time in Carrow's lesson).

But everyone knows I didn't curse my journal yesterday. For one thing, I only do stuff accidentally that I kind of want to see happen (like roast Carrow alive). It's never stuff I don't wish would happen. Like me having to chat up the Malfoys and Mrs Lestrange!

Er. Except when stuff rebounds, I guess.

And she's totally right. Mrs Lestrange, I mean. I have to get Padma back for this. Right away!

I've been thinking all afternoon, but I can't decide. What do you think I should do? What's the best way to really wipe that smug sneer off her ugly face?

I could make her nose look like a pig's. I think I could do that one and make it stick. But, I don't know. I don't think I could do it without anyone knowing.

Comments

[alt_sally_anne]

Ron, you did good today in Acton's class. Really. She wanted you to take the bait and you didn't, and you're right, everyone knows someone cursed you, you didn't do this to yourself.

But

It's really true that it's better to wait a bit before you get revenge on someone, because first of all they aren't as likely to be watching their back, and second they aren't as likely to know it was you if you'd rather not get caught (and it's always better not to get caught).

So I really don't think you should take strategy advice from BELLATRIX LESTRANGE, honestly. She might be sincere (because I expect she was terrifying even when she was a second year, she doesn't know how it works when you're NOT someone everyone's scared of) but she also might be baiting you, just like Acton, to see if she can get you to make a big enough mistake to get yourself expelled.

[alt_ron]

Oh.

Yeah, you might be right. I hadn't thought about Mrs Lestrange wanting to get me to get myself in trouble. I was too busy thinking she probably wants to kill me.

[alt_sally_anne]

I mean in some ways it's a little less satisfying when you get your revenge but they DON'T know it's you. But not getting in trouble kind of makes up for it.

[alt_ron]

Well, yeah. I can see that, I guess. Just. I don't know how long I can wait.

By the way, did you see SeaFinnigan wants to take Dark Arts. That bloody figures.

[alt_ron]

Wait.

You haven't decided you're going to take it, have you?

D'you think you have to so you, I dunno, keep the right people thinking you think the right things or whatever it is you do. That whole Slytherin-thinking thing makes my brain hurt. You do know that, don't you?

I mean, I thought it sounded sort of nift, but now it's just all prats and evil wankers wanting to take it. And, like, what are they going to learn? How to curse Weasleys, isn't it?

[alt_sally_anne]

Pansy might feel like she has to take it if Lucius Malfoy tells her to, and if she does, I may try to take it to keep her company. But I don't expect I'll get in, I mean I'm a half-blood and Amycus Carrow hates me, I don't expect his sister will be keen on letting me in. If there's a half-blood in our year who does get in it'll be Finnigan.

OF COURSE it's the prats and evil wankers, anyway, they don't call it 'Dark Arts' because it's all sunshine and kittens do they?

[alt_ron]

I didn't think about that. That they wouldn't let you in. That's so daft.

And, well obviously it's not about nice stuff, but I'd be totally keen on learning how to hex people without them knowing it's me, right? I mean, Dark Arts means it's secret and, what's it called, not stealthy

yeah, suttle

right?

when you get stuff done and no one can figure it out, right?

I guess that's not really something I'd be naturally good at, but I can see how it'd be dead useful. And I know you see it, too. It's too bad, really: if we were all three in there, then look out Padma Patil! We'd be totally unstoppable, terrorising all the filthy backstabbing prats around here.

[alt_sally_anne]

The word you're looking for is 'subtlety,' and you Gryffindors are not exactly known for it.

Clearly it's a learnable skill, though!

[alt_sally_anne]

Also, Ron, I don't think Padma acted alone. I think there were at least two other people in on it and I think one of them was Seamus. He was sooooooooo helpful getting your diary back. Would he usually do that? If he didn't know something was up?

[alt_neville]

Seamus? Hadn't thought of that.

[alt_sally_anne]

Didn't you see him talking to Padma yesterday? They shot each other this LOOK.

I don't think he could've done the spellwork though, and Padma seemed really confident that no matter what, it couldn't be pinned on her, so I think someone else probably actually did the curse.

[alt_ron]

Wait.

That toad! (Sorry Nev, nothing against Trevor, y'know.)

He's totally dead. He'd better not go to sleep where I can get him! I completely mean it.

[alt_ron]

But hang on.

Who else could it've been? It's not like she got the twins to do it! I know they didn't. Or anyway, I know they wouldn't do it for her.

But.

It wasn't Dean, and I know it wasn't you, Nev. So what're you saying?

You really think Seamus couldn't have done it? He totally could've done while I was taking my shower--Morgana's nevermind--THAT'S WHY PATIL WANTED TO KNOW WHEN I'D SHOWERED LAST 'CAUSE SHE KNOWS THAT'S WHEN HE DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'M SO GOING TO HEX HIM.

I'M GOING TO HEX HIM TO HANGSWORTH AND BACK

AND THEN I'M GOING TO DUMP BOIL BROTH ON HIM WHILE HE'S SLEEPING

THAT TOTAL

UTTER

FILTHY

PRAT!!

[alt_sally_anne]

I don't think Seamus is a good enough wizard. Isn't he the one who blew up the feather when he was trying to learn the hover charm?

Someone else could've hexed you at breakfast, don't you think? You didn't start in until after breakfast.

[alt_ron]

Well, but maybe no one wrote anything until after breakfast. I mean. When did you write yours? And there was that witch in Tunbridge Wells or wherever, who went on and on about my mum and her jam when I talked to her. That was during breakfast, wasn't it?

[alt_sally_anne]

That might've been breakfast. I wrote my thing in the night, but you wouldn't have seen it till you got up.

[alt_ron]

Well, all right then. Maybe you're right it didn't start until I was at breakfast or I'd have had to write to you before that.

So wait. Does that mean Finnigan didn't curse me? Cause if he didn't, then who did?

[alt_sally_anne]

Well even if it did happen while you were sleeping, it also could've been Lavender or Parvati. They're in your house, they could come into your dorm while you were sleeping. Unless Gryffindor House keeps the girls out of the boys' dorm as well as the boys out of the girls'.

If it was at breakfast it could've been anyone, I mean Padma has loads of friends and some of them are very clever especially at hexing and curses. Draco, for instance, but I doubt it was him because he wasn't around laughing at you yesterday. I don't know what he's up to, he's been kind of distracted lately.

[alt_ron]

D'you think you could ask Stretton if he heard who did it? I mean, he might have done, right?

Yeah, you're right about Malfoy, but I don't think he was anywhere near me. And nor was Marvolo, though he could totally do it. He knows loads of Dark Arts already, I think.

You don't think it was him, do you? I mean, honestly, if I thought it was, I'd

I don't know

[alt_sally_anne]

It wasn't Harry. First of all, he's been as distracted as Draco. Second, if he were going to curse you he wouldn't do something that would make you run around pestering people like Bellatrix Lestrange. He'd think that was a bad idea but also his own life sometimes gets harder when the important adults are in a bad mood, you know?

Besides, he could care less that Padma got her hair hexed off. I think he thought it was funny.

[alt_ron]

Maybe.

But, really? Who knows what he thinks.

[alt_hermione]

I do!! It wasn't Harry, honestly.

[alt_ron]

There you go, making excuses for him again. What was it you said the Headmistress calls that? Whatever. You shouldn't do it.

[alt_hermione]

You're just angry with him, Ron!!!! If you calmed down you'd see.

[alt_ron]

Of course, I'm angry with him, Hermione.

What would I see? That he's not my friend, and I was an eejit to think he was?

[alt_sally_anne]

And I could ask Stretton but he might not know. Padma isn't exactly one of his confidantes. I mean if you want to know who has a stash of Bertie Botts he's your man but 'who hexed me,' I'm not sure.

You could ask Katrina Bundy if she saw who did it.

[alt_ron]

This really stinks, y'know?

[alt_sally_anne]

Finnigan bloody well knew about it, though.

I'd tell you not to turn your back but that's a bit impractical when you share a dorm.

[alt_ron]

Yeah, it's him who'd better not turn his back on me.

I promise it won't take much for me to hex his pants on fire.

[alt_neville]

I dunno, Ron.

First of all, do you really want to take Mrs Lestrange's advice? I mean, about anything? It's one thing for her to go on about revenge. She's got a department of Aurors at her back, and who's going to cross her if she decides to make an example of anyone? But, well, it's maybe not so easy for someone like you or me.

Second, how do you know for sure it was Padma? Sure, she probably enjoyed what happened to you and was laughing along with everyone, but that doesn't mean she was the one who did it. If you do something to humyl-- humil-- to get back at her, well...she just had her hair hexed off and she'd probably be spoiling for a fight if you got caught. And she'd probably have Lana Sandoval standing at her elbow giving her hints about what hexes to use.

(I found a book about wand lore in the library. It was misfiled in with the magical creatures section, and it doesn't look like it's been checked out since 1943. Anyway, it has a section on wand repair. Maybe it'd give you some ideas of new things to try? I've got it in my book bag, and I'll give it to you at dinner.)

[alt_neville]

Guess we're thinking along the same lines, Sally-Anne.

What you should do, Ron, is maybe ask Fred and George? They'd probably have great ideas, and THEY don't get caught. Well, most of the time, not unless they want to be, that is.

[alt_ron]

Well, yeah, obviously we should talk to them, but where are they when you need them, huh? Were they anywhere to be seen yesterday? NO! I found Lee, but even he didn't know where they'd scarpered off to.

So, yeah, it'd be great if my big brothers would help a bit! Oi!!

[alt_ron]

Yeah, yeah. I know. Mrs Lestrange probably would love to see me do something filthy to get Padma back just so she could arrest me and send me to the camps or something. So, yeah.

I totally know it was Padma, okay? She acted just exactly like the twins do when they've pulled something: she was there all day making me say stuff on the journals and poking fun at how I had to talk to all those people I'd never talk to ever if I could possibly help it. Well, Mr Director Selwyn was all right, but the others? I mean Mr Crouch?!!!! Merlin's dirty pants, Nev. He was about to hex me through the book!!

[alt_sally_anne]

Mr Selwyn was kind to you because he thought the curse was funny. Also he was hoping to get incriminating information out of you on Gareth, if you knew anything.

[alt_ron]

Well, yeah. I know he wanted me to tell him stuff on Archer. And I didn't know much, but I tried really hard not to say anything that could sound bad or make him ask more questions or whatever. But I think Archer's pretty hacked off at me anyway. I saw him this morning, and he looked like he wanted to hex me. I don't know what he was cross about. I mean, it's not like I could help it, you know?

But he was nice about the rest of it. Mr Selwyn, I mean. And, I don't know, I thought it was nice that he's worried about us here at the school. How we're doing and all.

[alt_neville]

Suppose Archer's sort of hacked off at the world. Can't blame him, really.

Yeah, Mr Selwyn did sound okay.

[alt_ron]

Oh, and yeah. Okay. That book sounds good. Did you read it already? What's it suggest?

[alt_neville]

Haven't had a chance to look yet. But I was thinking, it was probably written before Spello-tape was invented. So maybe it has some older ways of repairing wands. Anyway, it's worth a try. I'll show you at dinner.

[alt_ron]

Heh!

[alt_gredforge]

Well, we agree that waiting for revenge is probably the best bet. Often, what makes a prank good isn't what you do, it's how you time it. No sense in pulling off a wonderful prank and getting caught, right?

As for ideas, we have a few. Meet us in the common room tomorrow morning, and we can go over some.

[alt_ron]

Now you're talking!

I'll be there.