I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good

I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good--that's no lie. I totally do not understand this Runes stuff, and my parchment is complete rubbish from the start, and I've only got four inches.

Someone tell me the term's over and this is just a nightmare that I've still got to write this rotten essay.

Please?