I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good

[alt_ron]

There's lots of stuff to tell you about.

But first, I wanted to say thanks for pressies.

Nev, the chocs were great. We ate them up right away before Mum could tell us not to. Heh!
The Cannons mittens are nift, Perks. And Mum really liked the wrist warmers you knitted her, too. She spent a long time looking at how you'd done the design, so I guess you did pretty well! And I've got the picture from one of my Cannons posters on that picture thinger you gave me. Mum said I should have a picture of all the family, but, y'know. I'll maybe do that if we take a picture with Charlie while we're visiting, but right now it's really nift because the picture I've got is Wintringham making this amazing save with two bludgers coming at him from opposite directions!
Parks, you're the best, getting me that book on broom charms. It's the same one you checked out from the library in London over the summer, yeah? But it's got an extra chapter on modern innovations, which is aweome. I keep working on the Silver Arrow, and she's getting better all the time. The broom kit's got really great twig clips, too, and they're supposed to be charmed to always stay sharp, so that's nifter than wiznift!
Hey, Terry. That box you carved is really dead amazing. And the lion on top looks really good. I don't know how you do that.
I'm really sorry all I could do for you lot was crackers again. I'm dead hopeless at making stuff. I mean, really. Anywiz, I liked it all a lot. So, thanks!

There's other stuff I wanted to tell you, too. Like about some stuff I've talked about with Mum and Dad--well, mostly Dad, actually. Some of it was about that hex of Percy's. They were really cross about that. But it was interesting, too, because I got to ask Dad some questions I've been meaning to about Dark Magic. Well, because he was trying to say that I should think about the things I do to get back at people sometimes, because putting a mean hex on someone that embarrasses them or whatever is a bit like using a hex that makes them do stuff they don't want to, and he said it was all a matter of degrees.

Anywiz, he says Dark Arts are always about either hurting people or making stuff happen against someone's will. Like the Imperius curse or the hex Percy put on me are both bad because I didn't get to decide for myself what I'd say to people. I had to do just what Percy wanted. And it felt really, really wrong. But really Dark spells use stuff like blood in order to do really big stuff that no other magic can make happen. Like he said that Dark sorcerers sometimes do spells that start with killing someone in order to make the wizard's power greater or make him live longer or heal someone who's about to die. So it's not always something horrible that you want to do, but it takes doing something really awful like killing a person or a unicorn or something in order to do it. Like the Death Eaters. That's why they're called that, I think. Because they do Dark stuff that takes lifeblood for the spells or potions or whatever.

But I wanted to tell you, too, about something else interesting that's happened. On Wednesday we went off on our brooms, exploring. I mean, it was really getting dull being cooped up inside, and when Percy was around--did I tell you what we did to Percy?--it was terrible, so Mum said we could go off with Mr Diggory and Cedric to go scavenging a bit in some of the old muggle towns around here. There are loads of them, y'know. Little places tucked up in the woods and round the coastline and in the hills. Hamlets, Mr Diggory calls them. Not even proper villages, some of them. Like they'd have a pub but no owl post office, or a church but no grocery or pub. Anywiz, the big seaside towns have been pretty well picked over by teams from the Ministry, but some of the little places haven't been touched. Mr Diggory says that at first people were too sensitive to, y'know, take stuff that belonged to the people who used to live there, but now it's clear they're never coming back, and if it's stuff that could be useful, then it's better it's put to use than just left to the vines and rust and rats and all.

Anywiz, we went first to a little tiny hamlet called Hand and Pen where Mr Diggory had seen a bunch of yarn in a house one time, and he said Mrs Diggory'd been after him for yonks to go back and collect it for her. So we did that and found some jars and stuff in an old canning cellar, so we packed that up, too. And we had a big sort of sling, like a hammock, that the twins strung up between their brooms, and they went and took that stuff back to the Diggories' while the rest of us went on to a place called Slewton Combe that's not much bigger than a knut and wasn't worth that much. So we didn't stay long. Just kind of looked in windows and poked about in a couple of sheds. And then we got to a place called Whimple that's quite a bit bigger than the others--I mean, it has a square and there's a church and a school building and there used to be two pubs and a big place called Whiteways that made cider and stuff out of apples and pears. Mr Diggory thought there might be some things there that people on the barter network could use, and he found loads of stuff that he got us to shift out of the barns and buildings. And then Mr Woodhayes turned up and said a couple of the other men from the network were on their way, too. And about then the twins came back, so Mr Diggory said we could go off on our own if we wanted and do some proper exploring.

So we flew off, the three of us plus Cedric, and we went poking about the countryside and ended up in a place called Newton Poppleford, and it was full of mad muggle stuff. Like when we flew into town, and just as we crossed the river at the bridge where the main muggle road goes into town, there was this house that had sort of statues in the front that were of bears wearing clothes and posed like they're waving at you. Totally mad. There must've been a dozen of them, those bears! We decided we should go in one of the pubs because its sign says it has a skittles alley, but when we went in, it smelt as if something'd died in there, so we left right quick. Phoah! Cedric said it smelt the way you'd think that Mr Black's corpse probably smells if it weren't sealed up in that box. He's been to see it, and he said it was really decayed. Said it was pretty interesting to see what happens to a body. He was telling us that one of the cheeks had sort of caved into the mouth and the lip on the other side looked like it had sort of slid down his chin or summat. Anywiz, I don't know if we'll get to go now that we're going to Stornoway. Which is, y'know, probably good, 'cause if it's as awful as Cedric said, I can't imagine Mum letting us look at it. She'd have kittens about Ginny seeing it, for sure.

Anywiz, Newton Poppleford was pretty interesting. We went in some houses and they were pretty much just like the Muggles had left them. Only one of them'd had a leak in the thatch and stuff that'd got ruined inside.

Oh, and we went in the village hall and there was this picture display up.--Did you know Muggle pictures don't move? That was queer.--Anywiz, it showed pictures of people sledging in the winter, and there were some of people in fancy dress for some carnival they had there, and some were of kids running about in the schoolyard, and some were ladies in hats and odd-looking clothes standing about by the church. And then there were a whole load of pictures that showed blokes playing something that uses bludger bats but on the ground and has funny-looking masks and big padded kit.

And then there was this one picture of a lady who looked a bit like Mum, and she was holding a big bunch of flowers and smiling like she was really happy. And, I dunno. It made me wonder if we'd been into her house at all, and y'know, where she is now. It was odd.

But we found some nift stuff. Cedric found one of those bludger bats, and the twins found some tools and a really enormous cauldron in the school kitchen that they figured was for making soup, but they've got other ideas for it, and I just picked up some little stuff--a ball that bounces all ways you wouldn't expect, and a pipe that's carved with a bloke's head, and some sweets called sherbet lemons that fizz in your mouth, and I was going to bring a load of muggle blowing gum from the shop there, but we tried it and it'd gone off. It was just all hard and nasty. Oh, and I got a pocket watch that you have to wind up, but it keeps good time. I gave it to Dad because I knew he'd think it was really nift, and he really does.

Comments

Private Message to Sally Anne Perks

[alt_ron]

Oh, hey. I was going to say this earlier, but Mum wanted us to go through a trunk full of stuff that belonged to Bill and Charlie to see if any of it would fit any of us--Fred and George and me, I mean--so I couldn't write this.

Anywiz, she took your package for your Mum and Dad, and I know she took it out with her on Christmas eve when she was taking stuff round to some of the neighbours. I don't guess they could probably tell you whether they'd got it, could they? Yesterday, when you saw your parents, I mean.

Re: Private Message to Sally Anne Perks

[alt_sally_anne]

Oh! I knew your mum must have taken it to them, because when I saw them they were wearing their mittens I knitted them.

[alt_sally_anne]

You did not tell us what you did to Percy. Unless I missed it.

What did you do to Percy?

[alt_ron]

Oh! Heh.

Well, we actually did a few things to him, I guess. When we first got home, the twins showed me how to break his locking charm and get into his room. We transfigured all his shoes into hedgehogs and let them out the back door! And y'know what? It's really amazing how easy it is do stuff like transfiguration now I've got a wand that's really mine. Not to mention one that's not broken. But, I mean, back when I was using Charlie's old one it never worked for me like this one does. Those were some fit hedgehogs: they trotted right down the stairs and out through the kitchen!

Um. And then did you see Percy made a date with Clearwater to go to Diagon Alley? Well the night before he went, the twins went and charmed the back of his robes to say 'I'm a git and proud of it!' But only when he has them on, so he wouldn't see it when he was taking them off the hook. It was hilarious at breakfast. I thought Mum was going to have kittens, but she didn't let on at all! Just served him his porridge and didn't say a thing.

Anywiz. Then Christmas came and I gave him the mirror I bought in that jumble shop in Hogsmeade. I charmed it to say really rude stuff whenever someone looks in it, so when Percy opened it up, it said, 'My goodness! You are gruesome, aren't you?' In a really loud, rude voice! And every time he'd pick get near it, it would say something else. Funniest thing ever. So Percy stuck it under some wrapping paper and I guess he hoped it would get lost, but the twins found it and fixed it up in the corridor just outside Percy's room, so when he came out the next morning, there it was, insulting him. So then he put it in the rubbish, but we got it back and put it up over the toilet. You could hear it from outside, telling him off the whole time he was in there! And then he hid it a bunch of places, but I got really good at 'Accio' and got it back every time! Well. For a couple of days. He finally took it somewhere far enough away we couldn't summon it back, I guess.

But it was fun while it lasted.

[alt_sally_anne]

Your mum didn't tell him that his robes said he was a git?

She must still be really cross with him.

The mirror sounds brilliant. I can think of a lot of people who could use a mirror like that.

[alt_ron]

I think she just thought it was a laugh.

She thinks it's important to learn how to take a joke well. And, y'know, Percy really doesn't usually.

He was pretty good about the mirror, probably because he knew Mum and Dad were watching to see how he'd take it, but by the end you could tell he was really steamed.

[alt_sally_anne]

And I grew up near an old muggle hamlet. It was kind of wrecked, but I used to roam there when I was little and found a lot of interesting stuff. My parents picked over the useful stuff -- I mean, there was food in cans and jars, they took all of that because it was food and we needed it. But they left a lot of things that weren't useful, just interesting.

Did you find any wind-up music boxes? There was a muggle near us who'd collected them, and a few in the house hadn't been smashed when -- well, anyway, there were some that worked. I used to wind them up and listen to them. They were nift.

[alt_ron]

I guess we weren't looking for stuff like that. Anywiz, I didn't see any. I guess. Do they look like magical ones?

How d'you wind them? With a nob like on a watch?

[alt_sally_anne]

There's a key. Like a nob, I guess. You turn it and it goes tick-tick-tick and when you let go the music plays.

They all looked different. There was one with a white horse with flowers on it, made from china, I think, and there's one that was a glass ball that you tipped to make it look like it was snowing.

[alt_ron]

And what sorts of music did they play? Was it nice? Or silly? I mean, some muggle stuff's nift. And other stuff's just daft. Really.

[alt_sally_anne]

Some of it was good and some of it was annoying. I sorted them out pretty quickly and wouldn't wind up the annoying ones.

I could hum my favourites to you when we get back to school but I can't really do that through the journals.

[alt_terry]

I'm glad you liked the box. I like whittling a lot. It's something a mu someone like me can do, and there was a man who taught me at one of the camps. He could whittle the most amazing things, and I loved watching him.

Been thinking about what you said about blood spells all day, putting it together with something Sally-Anne said on Madam Pomfrey's entry up above, that Master watches me like a hungry animal on the journals.

See, Master loves blood magic. I mean, he really really REALLY loves blood magic. And the blood he used most of the time for his spells was mine. It was awful--I won't tell you the sorts of things he did with it, what it did to me. It gave him extra power, some of which he used to control me, and some that he used to...well, never mind. Nasty stuff.

It hadn't even occurred to me until now, but I bet that's one of the reasons he hates it so much that I'm with the Headmistress now instead of him. He's lost one of his easy sources of blood for blood magic. And maybe that's one reason why he especially hates the Headmistress, because he figures she's using my blood now.

[alt_neville]

Blimey.

She isn't though, right? She'd never do something like that.

[alt_terry]

No, of course not.

[alt_ron]

Phew.

That's an awful thought.

Awful that Carrow did it, but worse to think about Headmistress McGonagall doing anything like that.

[alt_sally_anne]

You know she's on the Council, though. She's a Death Eater. She surely knows plenty of Dark Arts even if she's powerful enough not to need to use them ordinarily.

I'm glad she doesn't use Terry's blood, though, that's horrid.

[alt_ron]

Well, yeah. I did know, but Mum and Dad always talk about her as though she's someone they really trust. Or trust with us, which they don't everyone, y'know? I mean Mum gets really upset about the fact that the Carrows are here as teachers. And I don't think she was all that happy to hear about Professor Lestrange coming. But maybe that was partly that he was replacing Professor Lockhart, and even after what he did, the rotten fraud, she'd never let any of us say anything against him.

Anywiz, Mum likes the headmistress. I mean, I've heard her talking to Dad and she called the headmistress by her given name. Y'know, Minerva.

I think they must have known her for ages. Well, I mean sort of more than just as Bill and Charlie's teacher or our headmistress. I mean maybe they had her as their Transfiguration teacher when they were at school.

D'you think that's right? She is loads older than they are. I think. But then I can't imagine they'd call her by her given name if that's the way they knew her. It's almost like, I dunno, like maybe Mum served on some committee with her or summat. To get to know her that well. Or maybe--

No, I dunno.

[alt_sally_anne]

They probably did have her as a teacher. She's been here a long time.

[alt_ron]

Well, I guess that must be it.

Or maybe it's because Charlie was such a great Quidditcher, and I've heard she really liked him. She used to be head of house for Gryffindor, y'know, back before she was headmistress, and Charlie says she always secretly favoured the team when he was playing. Did little things that let them have better practice times than they'd have got otherwise. Called the Slytherin captain into her office when he was scheming to get Gryffindor's times cut in half. That sort of thing. Maybe that's when Mum got to know her better.

[alt_sally_anne]

Oh, does she?

Interesting.

[alt_ron]

Well, don't go blabbing it about!

And I'm not sure she does it anymore. The twins have never said anything like that.

That I can think of right off, anywiz.

Much.

[alt_sally_anne]

Well, she can favour you all she likes, our Seeker will still wipe the floor with you lot every time.

[alt_ron]

Oh, yeah?

Don't let Wood hear you say that!

[alt_sally_anne]

Well, Carrow hasn't pounced yet so it's a good thing I'm not in Divination, I guess.

We've done a little blood magic in Dark Arts class but we had to use our own blood. That limits things rather a lot. Miss Professor Carrow talked a bit about how a wizard or witch's blood is far better in this sort of spell than muggle blood (but any human blood will work a good deal better than animal blood). You know what's interesting, I'm sure Carrow would die before he said he thought you were a real wizard, that your blood was basically the same as his -- but that's why he wanted YOUR blood. Because it's wizard's blood, it's powerful.

And for that matter they'll say that muggles are the same as animals but it's pretty obvious they know they're not.

[alt_terry]

Wow. Hadn't thought of that, either.

[alt_neville]

Glad you liked the chocs. The cracker was grand. It went off with the loudest bang, made Evelyn squeal like anything.

The scavenging trip sounded dead interesting. Most of the muggle houses around here were picked through long ago, and there's not much left. At least, that's what Gran has always told us, 'cause she hasn't let us go look.

[alt_ron]

Yeah, they were great. And that's wizard about the cracker: all my spells are loads better now I've got this wand. It's dead amazing sometimes when I do stuff I've done for ages and it's just so much stronger. Means I shouldn't have to sweat any of the practical stuff this spring, right?

And yeah, Mum never let us go before either. And to be honest, I don't think she would've if she'd known we'd get to go off on our own like we did. She sent us off with Mr Diggory, and he probably let us do more than she ever would.

[alt_sally_anne]

Did you get my owl with the thank-you for the cracker? I talked the Strettons into letting me owl everyone who'd sent me gifts. It's easier to borrow an owl once Christmas is over, anyway.

You make the crackers yourselves? That's really brilliant. Gemma thought your joke was brilliant, too.

[alt_ron]

Oh, yeah. It came this morning. So are the Strettons letting you have some time to yourself now you're not having to take parcels all over the place?

About the crackers--it's something we've done for each other since we were pretty little. Mum used to always make them for us all, and then she taught Bill and Charlie when they were old enough to charm the trickets and jokes and everything. She wouldn't let us do the sparkles and the pop until we'd started school, though I bet the twins could've done it earlier. They got Charlie to teach them all sorts of stuff when they were still pretty little, and I guess he figured what Mum didn't know wouldn't hurt anyone. (And that might've been mostly right, except they did some pretty rotten stuff to me that Mum never knew anything about. Just brother stuff, y'know, but still, I've got Charlie to thank for that! I think I'll tell him that when the twins get up his nose tomorrow.)

Oh, and. We got here to Stornoway in time for supper, and it's really nift. I'm just changing into my nightshirt and going back down to the lounge to talk to everyone some more. Some of the handlers have got night watch, but the rest of them are really great at telling stories. And there's pie and tea. And firewhiskey, but I'm not allowed to have any.

[alt_sally_anne]

They haven't had a thing for me to do since Boxing Day. I'm actually kind of bored.

They went out on New Year's Eve and left me and Jeremy at the house and -- well, I wrote about it on my own journal, I don't need to tell you again here.

Stornoway sounds brilliant. I THINK they will let me visit Pansy this week. Mr Stretton had a hangover yesterday and Mrs Stretton got all cross because Jeremy said something stupid about it and well, I wanted to wait until things quieted down to ask, because if Mrs Stretton actually says NO she doesn't like going back on it. It's better to wait until she's not cross and ask then.