I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up to No Good Private Message to Sally Anne Perks

[alt_ron]

So. What Hermione said. About how it's so bloody hard for her and Terry to know more than we do and to not know if we're serious about wanting to know what's really happening when we know we're not getting real information from the wireless and the Prophet.

Because obviously we just sit around and talk about wanting to know what's happening when we don't really want to know anything at all.

... So we should just tell them if we ever do actually want to know?

Seriously? The bleeding heck?

And before you say it, I do know what she meant, but it's still absolutely

What. We're supposed to beg them for news?

Maybe they could write us a little script so we could tell them we know they know so much more than we do and we'd be ever so grateful if they'd tell us just this one teensy thing and we'll be in their debt for ever and ever.

Ugh.

Comments

[alt_sally_anne]

Oh but if they just TOLD us anything they'd lose the opportunity to be all mysterious!

I think the grown up wand smugglers are just as bad. I mean with the 'liking to be all mysterious because MYSTERY.' It's not as if we don't know things that could get them in horrible trouble if we weren't trustworthy so ... they might as well just trust us, you know, and answer our questions properly.

[alt_ron]

Exactly.

I really-

When I get home for hols, I'm asking so many questions. I mean it. I told Dad I have questions, and this time I'm really going to just ask them. I mean, it's time I just came out and said what I want to know.

And I'm not going to let them push it off. Not after what's happened.

Before, well-

Yeah, I used to think it was better not to know things that could get them in trouble. Mum and Dad. But now everything's different. And I'm done with it, letting them just pretend I don't guess anything and me pretending I don't know they guess I'm guessing.

[alt_sally_anne]

So wait I thought you didn't believe me that your mum was a wand smuggler?

Yeah. I mean here's the thing. We DO know some things. Enough that it would get them in HORRIBLE trouble if we told and while none of us would tell on purpose what if we got legilimised? or cruciated? or if someone slipped us veritaserum?

I am 99% positive that Madam Pomfrey is one of them. AND I think she knows I know. But we both just pretend, I mean I pretend I don't know about her and she pretends she doesn't know about me and it's like this illusion of safety that doesn't really keep either of us safe. Because if someone caught me and Hermione making the coins, and Hermione had their wand out, they wouldn't say to me, 'tell us everything you know with absolute certainty -- if you're not 100% sure that someone's in on the wand smuggling ring you can leave them out of it, we only want to know what you are POSITIVE about.'

[alt_ron]

Well, so that's the thing. I already guess enough that it doesn't probably matter if I know more. About my parents. It's not just the wand smugglers. That's what you marked out, yeah? But about Dad and what he does at work. Or doesn't do. Like what he did for Thomas, y'know? But I don't think it's just that one time. Only it happened that Thomas was a halfblood, so Dad could actually get him out of the camps. But I think he does other things. Maybe little ones. When he can. I don't know anything for sure, and I won't ask for examples. I don't think. But I'm going to ask.

And, yeah. I'm asking about Sirius Black and about Neville's parents and the people who got Hermione her wand. Because I do think they know them, and I think there's more than that.

I told you about the time Dad made me memorise a whole list of animals that if one ever came to me with a message I had to listen and believe what it said. I mean. Talking animals? Right. So obviously it's some spell, and it's not just Dad who uses it or might send me a message with it, or he could just tell me what animal it would be. Wait. Do animagi talk? I mean, can they talk while they're animals? Or do they have to turn back? I hadn't thought of that before. But, well. I don't know there are that many animagi, really. Animaguses? Whatev.

Thing is. Yeah. They're part of something, and it's secret, and they haven't been telling us kids what it is, but they know it could get them in trouble or some of us arrested or killed-

I told you about the times Mum's gone completely spare and spent hours watching that clock of hers, right? And trying not to let us know that's what she's doing or even that she's upset?

Yeah.

Anywiz.

[alt_sally_anne]

You're not going to actually tell them about Hermione's wand, are you? I mean I'm pretty sure your parents can be trusted but I wouldn't tell Madam Pomfrey about it, you know, just in case I was wrong.

I sort of remember that story about your Dad. Animagi can't talk when they're in animal form. Well maybe a parrot animagus could. But generally they can't.

You know what he might be talking about though is the Patronus Charm. That makes an animal appear (and the animal can drive off Dementors and Lethifolds, that's the main purpose of the spell). I've heard it's possible to make your Patronus talk but I don't know how it's done. (I don't even know how to cast the charm -- well, that's not exactly true. I know the THEORY. But it's dead hard.)

Your mum with the clock -- did you ever find out why she was doing that? Because I can't remember that part. (I like that clock. Do you know if she had it made after Ginny was born, or if she had a hand added each time she had another child? Or does it add hands on its own? I mean if Percy married Penny would it sprout a 'Penny' hand? Sorry this is a little beside the point, I just always want to know how things like that work exactly.)

[alt_ron]

Um.

I hadn't thought about what I shouldn't say yet. I guess that's right. I mean. Mostly I reckon I shouldn't tell them what I guess, should I?

I mean, really, I just planned to ask them to tell me about the group they're in, and then start with whatever they do tell me, and then use that to ask more. I mean, it's something we kids do to Mum all the time, sort of trap her into telling us more than she meant to or agree to more than she planned because once you get her started, you can take what she says and turn it around on her. The twins are excellent at it, but I'm not bad. Actually, I've been thinking a lot about how I am going to get them to answer my questions, and I was thinking that strategy's a bit like Professor Dolohov and Professor Brutka do in lessons, sort of, yeah?

No idea about the clock. I can't remember her not having it. Or it not having all the hands. But it would be dead ... odd ... to go home and see a hand on it for Clearwater. I hadn't thought of that, either.

You're right about Hermione, though. I won't say anything about her wand. Or actually about her at all, unless they do.

[alt_sally_anne]

Well, even if the clock sprouts hands it might not do it for people who aren't blood relatives.

If you ask your mum about the group she's in she's going to try to tell you about her barter network. Which is perfectly legal though a little bit dodgy (they hire my father, after all).

[alt_ron]

Uh.

Yeah, she probably will do, won't she. I guess I'll have to-

I don't know, actually. I'll have to think about that.


What would you do? To keep her from just getting round me that way.?

[alt_sally_anne]

Hmm.

Well, you could start by saying that you don't mean the barter network but the secret group that no one's supposed to know about that you totally know she's in, and see how she reacts.

You know, here's the thing.

It's not just that we know about them. They know about US. At least a bit. Sirius Black knows that Hermione passed questions from friends. And given that Terry hid his wand all that time in Lincoln they must know that he had some help that wasn't just from them -- actually, I'm pretty certain Madam Pomfrey knew we were in touch with him somehow. And if we can make guesses about them, they can probably make guesses about us.

So if you want to throw her off balance you could say something like, 'Mum, I'm sure you know I'm one of the ones in the secret group of students. And I know that YOU'RE in the secret group of adults -- not the barter network, either, the SECRET group. And I have some questions.'

I don't know, do you think that would work?

[alt_ron]

Actually. That's a really brilliant idea. Throwing her off by just coming out with it.

I need to think about it some more.

Because that would mean talking to them separately, probably. Which is not a bad idea. I mean, you're right that I'd talk to her first, because then Dad would sort of have to tell me more if she'd already let a bunch of it out.

I'm not sure about telling her about us. Right up front, though.

Maybe.

[alt_sally_anne]

Well, they're your parents. You're the expert here.

[alt_ron]

Heh.

Yeah. But I'm also a bit of an eejit when it comes to clever plans, y'know. Or that's what my Slytherin friends say.

Innit?

Maybe I'll have a better idea tomorrow when I'm not falling asleep writing.

There's a thought!

So, yeah. Thanks.

And tell me if you think of anything else, yeah?

[alt_sally_anne]

Okay.

[alt_ron]

So, yeah.

I've been thinking.

And I'm not going to talk to Mum first. I mean, you're right how it would go, and your idea about springing it on her like that--that probably is the best way to get it out of her, but-

I really just want to start by talking to Dad. Because he'll understand, for one thing, about how much I've thought it out before asking and how really badly I want to know and how at this point it doesn't matter much if I know some things for sure or just guess at them. If I ever did end up being questioned about it by MLE, yeah? And Dad... well, he'd think it over but he'd be able to decide what I should hear and then tell me, where Mum'd be all worried she shouldn't say anything until she'd talked to Dad, and if I did actually turn her round enough that she told me stuff she didn't mean to, then she'd be so cross that she'd shut up and not say any more until she did ask Dad--or not shut up, actually, she'd start shouting, but the thing is.

I think I'll find out more from Dad. And he'll understand, y'know. That I want to know before anything else happens that makes me think they might be off fighting and

It was really awful not knowing.

And I want to know what it is, so I can do what I can, y'know? Because if there's going to be more fighting--for real fighting against MLE, then when it starts, I want to know so I can go help.

And Mum-

if she thinks that's what I'm thinking, she'll never tell me anything. Because she'll want to keep us all safe and wouldn't let any of us ever take any chances. But that's what this is going to take. Everybody fighting.

Sometime. That's what it's going to take.

And I don't want to miss it because they've been keeping it all secret to protect us.

And I don't want to wake up some day and find out it's one of them that the wireless is talking about having been spotted or killed.

And, anywiz. If Dad won't tell me anything, then I'll ask him to not tell Mum I was asking questions, and he'll promise. He's good like that, because he'll know that if she knew, it'd make her all nervous and cross, and he wouldn't want that.

So if Dad won't tell me, then I'll wait til I've got Mum alone, and I'll do just what you said. Spring it on her, and see if I can't just surprise her into telling me enough that then I can get the rest out of her.

[alt_sally_anne]

That sounds like a good idea.

I don't know your dad nearly as well as your mum (I mean not that I know her as well as you do but I've met her at Quidditch days and so on, whereas your dad it's really just been in passing a few times). But I could imagine your mum getting all frantic and clamming up because she's just so appalled that you know anything at all.

[alt_ron]

Yeah. You know the other thing Mum'd say is that I'm too young to be part of it. But that's what makes me so cross about Hermione and Terry going around saying they know stuff we don't and have to check what we can know and what they can't say. Because. If they trust them to be part of it, why are they keeping us out? Well, I've got a pretty good idea that my mum's why. Keeping us safe even if it makes no sense. And doesn't make any bloody sense. And it just makes it perfectly awful with Hermione and especially with Terry because he can be so-

Yeah.

[alt_sally_anne]

You know, that would explain a lot. I mean maybe that's why Hermione and Terry are so WEIRD about it, it might not JUST be that Terry's a prat. I mean, if they've got your mum saying 'no you can't possibly volunteer that information!' but they did get permission to answer direct questions, that could be what Hermione's hinting at with 'you have to ask me and then also tell me that you really WANT to know,' you know?

[alt_ron]

Yeah. I mean maybe I'm completely daft thinking my parents are part of it, but it just makes so much sense.

It really does.

And I'm not asking questions through Hermione. Honestly, if I were her, I'd be hacked off that they think she should play post owl between them and us. I'm not playing that game anymore. They're going to have to answer my questions straight up, that's all.

And if they won't, I don't know, but it's totally not on for them to make Hermione tell us we can know this but not that. I mean, you can tell she doesn't like it. Really makes you wonder what they're about, doesn't it, using a kid like her?

I mean-

Yeah, that's actually really ugly. More ugly the more I think about it.

[alt_sally_anne]

UGH now I'm imagining someone finding me and Hermione

I wonder if that room would be un-findable if we needed it to be?

Ugh

[alt_ron]

It might?

If you needed it to be.

I think that's a thing, actually. Did I tell you Evelyn and I tried to go up there one time to play chess, only it wouldn't let us in. I mean, we thought it would be totally nift to see if it would have boards and pieces and all that we'd want for playing, but we couldn't get in at all.

And I think, maybe, we didn't really need to get in. Because, yeah. I mean, I wanted to be somewhere no one would say anything to me about the Quidditch match, but it wasn't that important. And we just went to one of the disused classrooms instead.

Or maybe we didn't go about getting in properly--maybe we're wrong about how you make it open, but I don't think so. Or maybe someone else was using it. I don't know.

[alt_sally_anne]

Huh.

I wonder why it didn't open up for you? Did you walk past three times, because I think that part is really important.

[alt_ron]

Yeah. But maybe we're wrong that it's three times. Or maybe it matters which direction you go by it the first time?

I don't know.

[alt_sally_anne]

Maybe it doesn't work properly if everyone trying to get in is a pureblood!

[alt_ron]

Heh.

That can't be right, though.

[alt_sally_anne]

Or wait, did you go there once with just Neville? Or by yourself? I can't remember.

[alt_ron]

No, but I did get in by myself once.

I was trying to get away from Zabini and Nott and Malfoy, actually, because-

Nevermind.

But I really wanted to lose them, and then I heard someone coming the other way, too, and I kind of didn't know where to go, and then there it was.

[alt_sally_anne]

Oh.

Well, maybe you're right about REALLY needing it.