I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good

[alt_ron]

So, um.

I know none of us use this lock that much any more, but it's odd thinking about not having it after tonight.

Hope you lot who're left will remember to use it if you ever need it.

Guess that's all.

Yeah.

Comments

[alt_sally_anne]

Do you suppose you'll stop being able to see it at midnight?

Or at whatever time of day you were born?

[alt_ron]

Oh. Huh.

That's a really good question.

Guess we can find out. I think I was born right before noon. Mum said she was getting lunch for the older ones, and then, all of a sudden, there I was!

I mean, I don't reckon I popped out in the middle of the kitchen or anything, but, yeah. I guess there wasn't a lot of time to get ready.

Or something.

I mean, it's not like it could've been a totally surprise, either. By the time you're on your sixth one, you'd think you'd have some notion how it all works, don't you?

[alt_sally_anne]

Yeah, you would! She didn't go to St Mungo's? I suppose she wouldn't be the St Gerard's type.

[alt_ron]

I don't think there was time, actually. I mean, it's not like you can Floo there when you're giant and about to pop a sprog, can you?

Or maybe they just didn't think they could afford it, y'know?

I don't know how much it costs to be at St Mungo's, but when people go to have babies there, they go early, I think. And then sometimes it doesn't come right away, so they're just there, yeah? I mean unless the Healers do... whatever they do... it's called something... to help it start when it's not starting or when something's wrong. Right?

Anywiz, I think Mum and Dad reckoned she knew what to do by then, and maybe somebody came to help her. I don't remember her saying. Just about how she was about to serve the soup when all of a sudden I changed the schedule.

[alt_sally_anne]

Yeah, there's spells to start labour and spell to get the baby out more quickly though the books I've read disagree about whether it's a good idea to hurry things along.

You can floo when you're about to pop, it's much safer than Apparating. You can also use a portkey, they still issue them to pregnant ladies. But if you came in a big hurry... Anyway, that's a funny story.

[alt_ron]

Would you want to be the kind of Healer who helps witches have their babies? I'd never thought about that.

Really you can Floo when you're big as a house? I mean, what if she got stuck in there in between grates?

[alt_sally_anne]

You wouldn't get stuck, because a pregnant belly MOSTLY makes you bigger in the front. I mean, okay, I suppose if a fireplace were really small and cramped it might be a problem, but you'd know if your own floo were small and the ones at St M's are enormous.

Anyway. No, actually, I DON'T want to be that sort of Healer. It would be my absolute last choice. The thing is childbirth just isn't very interesting; most of the time Witches don't need any help. They need a Healer around in case something goes wrong and of course if anything DOES go wrong it's quite interesting but nine times out of ten you just sit around.

Also, pregnant ladies complain a lot and they expect their Healer to be sympathetic.

I feel a little guilty about how much I DON'T want to do this sort of Healing because it would very definitely be useful to the Order. I asked Madam Pomfrey for some advice on getting an internship this summer and I said I thought it would probably make the most sense to try to learn something she's not particularly expert in and I wouldn't be able to learn from her and she made a whole list and midwifery was definitely on it.

[alt_ron]

Yeah. I guess that's one thing Madam P doesn't have to do very much!

She was really busy when I was in there last week.

I wouldn't say that Madam P is exactly sympathetic. I mean, she listens to what you say, but she never says, 'Oh, you poor dear' or anything like that.

[alt_sally_anne]

No, it's really true! She'd never have got a job at St Gerard's.

[alt_ron]

You don't need to feel guilty, anywiz. I mean, you don't want to get stuck at Moddey Dhoo or in one of those sealed off towns like Aldrich, looking after babies and their mums all the time. How dull would that be?!

[alt_evelyn]

Happy returns, Ron.

[alt_ron]

Cheers, Ev.


Say, I guess it doesn't happen straight away at midnight. Sally Anne thinks I'll be able to see this until mid-day tomorrow at the time I was born.

[alt_evelyn]

Good. I was worried I'd missed my chance.

[alt_ron]

Y'know.

I'd sort of forgotten how we can talk here without thinking that the rest of them can read whatever we say. I'm going to miss this.

It's a shame about this growing up business. Not all it's made out to be.

[alt_evelyn]

I'm going to miss it too. What it was, I mean. With everyone.

I'll never forget it, though.

[alt_luna]

I think I'll feel the same way.

[alt_luna]

Congratulations on coming of age, Ron.