See, Percy, I'm writing in my journal!

[alt_ron]

DRACO MALFOY IS A STINKING WANKER.



Happy now, Percy?

Comments

[alt_percy]

Oh, very mature, Ron.

Don't be ridiculous. Now what set this off?

[alt_ron]

Not really your business, is it?

[alt_harry]

Stop that Weasley. I dont want to get in trouble for duelling in the corridors. But I will if you dont take it back!!

[alt_ron]

's none of your business, either, is it?

I'm not taking anything back until he takes back all that rubbish he's said about Neville.

[alt_harry]

its my business because he's my friend.

[alt_percy]

It is my business as a Prefect, and if you're about to lose points for Gryffindor.

[alt_neville]

'S okay, Ron. You should let it all roll off your back. That's what I try to do.

[alt_ron]

And Neville's mine. And nobody, not you and bloody well not Malfoy's going to rubbish him like that if I can stop it.

So, go away, Marvolo. Malfoy's the one's started this.

[alt_percy]

Quite right of you to want to defend your friend, Marvolo (and Ron, that includes you, too), but there won't be any dueling in the corridors, by anyone. Talk it out.

[alt_neville]

Ron, no. I don't want you to get in trouble cause of me.

[alt_ron]

You're too nice, Nev. He'll just go on and on if somebody doesn't make him stop.

And look, he's not even got a big enough wand to answer for himself.

[alt_ron]

s'okay. I dont mind.

[alt_percy]

But I do!

[alt_neville]

Look, I gotta work with him in Potions, okay?

[alt_ron]

Yeah. And look how that's going! That's the whole problem. He thinks he can just slag you off and make you feel so crap you end up slicing somethin wrong or droppin in the nettles when its spose to be the billywig stings or whatever. And then he goes around rubbishing you all over school.

That's not quidditch, mate. Someone's got to make him shut his gob.

[alt_ron]

Who asked you? Your not my auntie.

[alt_ron]

Go away, Percy! Dont you need to look over your Runes parchment or something?

[alt_percy]

No, thank Merlin. But I am your Prefect and therefore charged to help keep you out of trouble!

[alt_ron]

Whatever.

[alt_draco]

He was mucking up the potions ingredients before I slagged him off, you idiot, that's rather the whole point. Why don't you let Wrongbottom stand up for himself, it might do him some good.

[alt_draco]

Yeah, and HE doesn't have to work with Wrongbottom in potions. He keeps stirring to the left instead of the right - I mean, if it were something difficult he were messing up that'd be one thing, but it's just stirring!

[alt_ron]

Look, no one slagged you off when you levitated your feather and it poked you in the eye.

And then in the ear.

And then picked your nose for you.

That's easy stuff, too, but you couldn't get it right, Smallfoy.

[alt_ron]

Anybody would get edgy with you hovering over them, going 'Eh!', 'Hem, hem!', 'Phwuh!' every move they make.

[alt_harry]

Pretty bad!! Dyou think he can't tell his left from his right? Has anyone showed him that his left hand makes an L? Your dad showed me that and I dont get confused any more.

[alt_ron]

Oi!

[alt_ron]

And flapping your sleeves about like a nervous diricawl.

[alt_neville]

I already said I was sorry, Malfoy. And that I'd try harder next time. I dunno what else you expect me to do.

[alt_ron]

And it might do you some good to shut your ugly mouth.

[alt_draco]

It took you three comments to get that out? You're just making yourself look stupid now. Even moreso than usual. Which is quite an accomplishment, really. Congratulations.

[alt_draco]

My feather didn't do any of that, you giant, ginger liar. But even if it had, it was levitation, not moving around a spoon.

[alt_sally_anne]

If you want him to do it properly, the easiest thing is to stand to his right and tell him to stir towards you.

Who was Lavender's partner last go round? Maybe they know a way to get her to pay attention to what she's doing.

[alt_draco]

I wasn't asking for advice, was I?

[alt_sally_anne]

No. Sorry.

[alt_ron]

Is that the best you can do, Smallboy?

[alt_ron]

Your calling me a liar? That's rich.