I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good

[alt_ron]

What the merry flip?

I mean. Really.

'Hello, my name is Ronald Weasley, so good to meet you, ma'am. May I offer you my seat? Could I bring you a glass of punch? Hang up your fur stole? What did you say? Could I take your terrier outside for a whizz? Oh, certainly. No bleedin trouble at all.' smile ... smile

'Good evening, sir. My name is Ronald Weasley. Oh, quite right, sir, you do outrank me. You should certainly go before me in the queue.'

At least Greengrass and Macmillan were sporting about it. We were next to Dunstan and Nott--and they were not playing nicely with Fawcett. At all.

Comments

[alt_sally_anne]

That was the most utterly idiotic way to spend an afternoon EVER.

[alt_luna]

YPL really isn't much fun since Professor Sinistra's no longer in charge of it.

I'm sure my foster mother would think that sort of stuff is important for me to learn. But then she is awfully concerned with the things you have to do to impress the Right Sort of People.

[alt_sally_anne]

You know, the absurd thing is that even at Those Sorts of Parties it's not as if people sort themselves into a line based on how important they are, and compare family trees.

It's not hard to get it right. You're just polite to everyone, you don't bring up topics that are likely to start arguments.

Especially if you're a kid you really can't go wrong being gracious about who goes first (which is what 'precedence' really means). I mean according to the Order of Precedence, Pansy outranks quite a few of the adults who come to these parties, but if there's an older lady who wants to get to the desserts, Pansy always steps back and lets her go first. She doesn't say 'No! you are only THREE generations a purebloood, plus my father was on the Council!' and grab the last chocolate truffle (though she might say 'here, Mrs Smith, let me get you one of the lemon tarts' and then take the last truffle while Mrs Smith is saying thank you.)

[alt_pansy]

Ugh. I hate when people are so wrapped up in formality. It really gets in the way.

Of course, I suppose it's far easier for me to say it because when I don't stand on ceremony, it's more likely to come off that I'm being generous instead of rude.

How tiresome. And useless.

[alt_terry]

What on earth were you doing?

[alt_neville]

Role-playing. There was a long lecture about how we're going home for the holidays and need to know all about how to behave properly around guests. Madam Umbridge was banging on and on about precedence: there's the Lord Protector, and the Council wizards, and then wizards are ranked by how many pureblood generations they have. Then three-quarter bloods, halfbloods, squibs and finally muggleborns. But there are all sorts of other little rules: holding office gives you a one-level boost, for example. The rank of the higher spouse determines the rank of both members of a marriage, if both are attending an event. Otherwise, each carries their own rank.

Then everyone drew cards, like, say, 'Your mother's eldest aunt' or 'A Division Director at the Ministry' or 'A Council Member' and you had to demonstrate how you would hold a conversation with a person like that. Sometimes there was some other piece of information like an upcoming business deal, or a relative is marrying into the person's family. We were in groups, and we had to score each other.

Then Madam Umbridge gave out a bunch of badges. Everyone was sort of snorting over what they said, but trying not to let on in front of her. They said things like, 'Diligent helper' or 'Always tries hard.'

She had this look on her face as she was handing them out, like she was giving out lollies to two year olds.

[alt_sally_anne]

So what was your badge for, Neville?

[alt_neville]

Uh, 'Knows His Place.'

Which is really sort of double-edged, since I'm pureblood (not that I care a jot), but I'm from a bloodtraitor family.

[alt_pansy]

We didn't quite handle how to deal with that in the Precedence lesson. I think we would've benefited from learning the appropriate dirty look to give, or how to snub in a way that shows the maximum amount of class.

[alt_sally_anne]

Well, she DID ask in her journal whether we had any further questions...

[alt_pansy]

I think the ideal etiquette would be to spit on the person in question's shoes, and then raise the right side of the upper lip while backing away slowly and staring. But I'm not entirely sure.

[alt_sally_anne]

That must be right; if you backed away slowly, THEN spit on their shoes, you'd undoubtedly miss, and then where would you be? IN DISGRACE, THAT'S WHERE.

[alt_pansy]

And horror of horrors, at the next fancy party, you'd be... LOWER ON THE LIST.

[alt_sally_anne]

Mine said, 'Polite to her Betters.'

[alt_terry]

Eww.

[alt_pansy]

I know.

[alt_pansy]

Well, you'd better keep being polite to me! Otherwise, I might not find you useful any more, and where would you be then?

Vom.

[alt_sally_anne]

Well that was surely what she was getting at, don't you think? That's probably why yours was 'Gracious Leader' or whatever she put on it.

If she wants to call me a kiss-arse she should just say it, like Patil.

[alt_sally_anne]

NOT THAT SHE EXCUSED ME FROM THE ETIQUETTE LESSON even though it's clear I already know how to get along!

[alt_ron]

Yeah. I think she wanted you there to show how it's done.

Umbritch came round to Fawcett's group and told her she ought to pay more attention to how you comport yourself. When she got to them, Fawcett was sort of standing off by herself, not really taking part, y'know? But that's because Nott had just been telling her to shine his shoes. I was trying not to pay attention, but the way he said that, you probably could have heard him on your side of the room. And I think Dunstan had a card that said she was a Department Head at the Ministry interviewing candidates, because I heard her ask Fawcett what had made her think she'd possibly deserve a job in Dunstan's office.

We had sort of a laugh with it in our group, actually. But mostly we just laughed at what Madam Hem-hem said. Greengrass can really imitate her, too. Of course, she was really quiet about it. But it was dead hilarious! The hardest part was not falling out laughing when Umbritch came round and started talking at us.

[alt_sally_anne]

Our group was pretty funny, too. Morag was supposed to be somebody's great aunt, and she put on this creaky old lady voice and asked a bunch of questions about whether we'd been studying 'Intra Profundis' in Dark Arts class and then she went on and on about what a good book it was, so educational, so detailed, you know.

It livened things up a bit. She said that even if Madam Umbridge overheard, well, not falling down laughing when an old lady says something she doesn't know is funny? that's an important etiquette skill.

[alt_justin]

Hullo, Ron,

Yes, it was tiresome, wasn't it? I mean to say, if one's already been properly educated in etiquette, it's well tedious to learn all over again, and besides it's rather second-nature, what? But when it's merely an excuse to treat others with a shocking lack of respect then the entire exercise is worse than boring, it's bally well intolerable.

-Justin

[alt_pansy]

There'll always be people out there who'll hold onto whatever power they have, even if it's incredibly petty. I think people are never ruder than when they demand respect from people because they think they somehow deserve it more.

[alt_ron]

You know. That's the thing, isn't it?

My parents said we ought to be polite to everyone. And I know Mum would say that people using 'precedence' as an excuse to be horrible to someone else is the worst kind of rude you can be.

It would be funny, really, to hear what Mum'd have to say about her if she could have been here today. Mum can be a bit ... opinionated about people.

[alt_pansy]

That's why I like your mum so much.

[alt_sally_anne]

Well, and she's right. That's why I think this really isn't anywhere near as complicated as Umbritch was making it out to be.

Although there are certain situations where I get to have Pansy's status instead of my own (because I'm her invited guest) and THAT ... well it can be worth knowing, you know? Because every now and then you want to be rude to someone in the most socially acceptable way possible. (Or gracious, but from the position of power.)

But mostly? You can just be polite to everyone.

[alt_justin]

Hear, hear, Sally-Anne,

Whenever in doubt, politeness ought always to be the answer.

Oh, and did I read Marvolo's message correctly? If so, congratulations! Well done.

-Justin

[alt_sally_anne]

I think so?
I mean I can't think what else he means by 'get me your schedule, I'll have flying drills for you over hols.'

[alt_ron]

Good show, you!

[alt_pansy]

Wonderful!

[alt_neville]

That's brilliant!

[alt_luna]

Oh, that's exciting! Congratulations!

[alt_sally_anne]

I think I'm going to throw up.

Private Message to Sally Anne

[alt_ron]

Yeah.

I sort of feel that way, too, half the time about having made it.

If you want to fly sometime, we could. Though I guess that'd be like practising with the enemy. I'm not sure what Angelina would say about it. Maybe I could tell her I'm learning to anticipate Slytherin strategies?

Mostly, I'd just like to have someone throwing quaffles at me to see if I can get my block ratio up a bit. I could throw them for you if you wanted to do sprint drills.

Re: Private Message to Sally Anne

[alt_sally_anne]

Well I'm only playing once and it's a match against Ravenclaw. Thank goodness because playing against you would be so

I should probably make sure it's okay with Harry? and you should make sure it's okay with Angelina. Over hols I'm thinking I will practise with Jeremy. You might think he'd sabotage me (because he's from Ravenclaw!) but I think he'll actually be really happy for me. He's not that crazy about Ravenclaw these days.

Oh Merlin what am I going to say to Mi

Re: Private Message to Sally Anne

[alt_ron]

Well. You could come to the Burrow over the hols, at least.

I mean, the twins would probably set up dodge drills for you with bludgers if you want. And, you're right. It's just the one match, so it's not like we'd be giving away all our side's secrets. It'd just be basic skills, and you've played with us before loads of times.

Re: Private Message to Sally Anne

[alt_sally_anne]

If we were going to be playing against Gryffindor I'd wonder if that's why Harry had picked me -- I mean, you lot basically ARE the Gryffindor team these days and I've played with you loads of times.

Re: Private Message to Sally Anne

[alt_ron]

Hm.

Well. Maybe you should point out how useful that would be so he might think about keeping you on for more than the one match! That would be Slytherin of you.

Of course, we've played with you as much as you have with us, so I'm not really fussed about it. Angelina might see it differently, but she- well, there's taking it seriously, and then there's Angelina's way of looking at Quidditch. Bit of a menace, really.