I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good

[alt_ron]

So. Bill's said sorry.


What he actually said was... well. Some of it was just stupid things people say when they're trying to say sorry and the rest of it was actually pretty insulting, only I don't think he meant me to take it that way.

The best thing I can say about it is that he wants me to not hate him because he wants us to still want to join them. He even said he and Mum would ask if we could join, but he doesn't think they'll say yes. And I reckon he's right about that, cause I don't think he's going to try very hard to convince them.

What he wants is for me--for all of us--to go back to being patient and to just wait until they all decide they want to bother with us. But between now and then, he doesn't want us hacked off and doing stuff secretly. Which. He can hope that all he likes, yeah?

Argh. Yeah. I could really get hacked off all over again about what he said. It was-

I told Mum last night that I wanted to talk about what sort of job I should try for that would be really useful to the Wan Order and also what I could do now that would help them. So today, Bill says: 'You wanted us to tell you things we need people to do? Well. We need people who can forge documents. The other thing is that I have a bunch of analysts who do research for me.'

There's no way he even thinks I could do either of those things. Maybe I was meant to think he was complimenting me, but honestly? He thinks I'm stupid. Stupid enough to think he took me seriously.

The thing about Bill is he's always wanted to act like he's my second father, like he can tell me what to do and tell me off for what I shouldn't have done and like he has the right to punish me if I don't do what he says or if I'm not doing what Mum or Dad says. But he's not Dad, and he's not ever going to be him. And right now? Acting like that is just-

If he hadn't hit me so hard last night, I'd have hexed him for that rubbish. Another second or two and I'd've had my wand out. I'm serious.

And I don't know if he gets how out of line he was, but he does get that Dad wouldn't have liked what he did to me. At all. And I think he gets that Dad would have answered my questions and that it would all have come out differently.

And I think that scared him. Made him sad, too. But scared him that he might have messed up with me and not done what Dad would have wanted.

And he's too right about that.

So that's what it is. Bill's still being a git. The Order's going to meet. Tomorrow, I guess. And I don't think they're going to take us.

Sorry I didn't do a better job with Mum. Maybe it would've come out differently.

Comments

[alt_sally_anne]

He wants you to forge things?

Has he seen your handwriting?

That's just ... the dumbest thing ever. Like saying to the Twins, 'oh brilliant! we need your help; we'd like you to become Dolores Umbridge's favourite students.' Or saying to Neville, 'why don't you become a Quidditch player?' or ... yeah.

[alt_ron]

Yeah.

It's-

Did he really think I'd think he was serious?

Like does he even know me? Right. Not so much. But he thinks he can be my new dad. Nice.

[alt_sally_anne]

Has he always been like that? Bossy, I mean. I know Percy was -- bossy and self-righteous and priggish.

What's Bill like normally? I mean I've never properly met him, before, but you always sounded like you liked him. Better than Percy, anyway.

[alt_ron]

It's different than Percy. I mean, Bill isn't a prig. And he's not embarrassed of the family. That's the real problem with Percy, y'know. He wants to be 'important' and have loads of money and have people treat him like they treat Council wizards. Like Mr Malfoy.

But Bill. I mean he's loads older, and I reckon he always was trying to help Mum out, running after us when we were small. But, yeah. He's always thought he could tell us what to do. And give out punishments like he has the right to do that for Mum and Dad without going through them at all. And Mum never calls him out on that. Dad-

Well, Dad would always talk stuff over if we said something was unfair, so I guess Dad sort of made a lot of those things right in the end.

But now-

Now Bill's acting like-

And Mum's-

Whatever. I'm really glad we're going back to school soon.

[alt_justin]

Steady on, old man. You'll be all right. And we'll show him, never fear.

-Justin

[alt_sally_anne]

Also.

They want us to want to join but they don't actually want to let us join. And they also don't want us to go off and try to do anything on our own but their ideas for things you could do are just stupid and also the Twins said that what they want is for us to get better at the things we're particularly talented in but Bill's ideas...

I mean it's not that you can't do research. That's just reading, yeah? You do research for school assignments all the time. But the Hogwarts Library, the not-restricted section, is hardly going to have some hard-to-find volume that Bill can't get any other way. You might be able to get a pass into the restricted section from Professor Dolohov but they'd really prefer we not talk to him, either, that was clear.

I just

I don't

well they do have Hermione as a member so clearly they aren't ALL utter eejits.

[alt_ron]

No. They're not.

Dad wasn't.

But the thing about not wanting us in... It's my mum that doesn't want it. Neville's parents do want us in. Or they want Nev and Evelyn in, and I bet they'd take us.

And Bill doesn't want us. Or doesn't want me, so then you're out, too, because you must be as much of a dolt as he thinks I am.

Honestly.

If the twins hadn't come clean last night, I'd be so peeved I'd never want to join them ever.

As it is. Well, we've got to figure out what we can do and get started on it by ourselves, and we'll see if we even need to join up with them later. Maybe it'll be better to keep separate, y'know?

[alt_sally_anne]

Maybe.

We should think about Hermione's galleons. And ways to use them.

[alt_evelyn]

I've been thinking

Well, it's sort of

I know they could be used for lots of things, but some people have them that don't have the lock, people like Kitty Bundy and Harry Marvolo, and maybe

One of the things that was so good about this lock was a chance to say things I never would've dared. And to have it be okay. And I think that's important. So maybe one of the things we can do is just start writing things every now and then. Not the most secret things, of course, but just things that might make some of the other people think a bit, maybe even things that are silly sometimes, just so that they know they can write what they think too.

I don't know if it makes sense. But maybe that's one thing that we could do.

[alt_sally_anne]

Like what? I mean I like that idea, but it's so little space. And THE LORD PROTECTOR IS A PRAT would fit but seems a bit risky.

[alt_evelyn]

Okay.

If blood is important, why is it so easy to change someone's status?
Fifteen years ago, muggle born people went to Hogwarts as students.
Does anyone really believe that magic can be stolen?
Hembridge waddles when she walks.

Things like that.

I don't know.

[alt_sally_anne]

These are good.

These are perfect.

We could start with this tonight, couldn't we?

[alt_evelyn]

Oh!

Yes, I suppose so.

[alt_sally_anne]

I did it. Did you see?

[alt_evelyn]

Yes!

Thank you.

[alt_ron]

She totally waddles.

[alt_sally_anne]

Except when she's stopping to scratch her ankles.

[alt_ron]

Hem, hem!

[alt_justin]

Evelyn,

That's brilliant. Utterly brilliant.

I say, we could scribble them down as they come and then improve them together, what?

Oh, bally well done.

-Justin

[alt_evelyn]

I'll work on some more on the train, then.

[alt_sally_anne]

Hmmm

though

have you seen any good graffiti? We could say that it was graffiti, in the message. 'Graffiti in New London: the LP is a prat.' Though that's really not very catchy.

[alt_sally_anne]

Or suggestions like

'This week, say muggleborn instead of mudblood. See how it sounds.'

[alt_ron]

That's good. But not for right away. Do easier ones first.

I mean, if someone doesn't think at all about saying mudblood, it'll take a while before they'd be ready to say muggleborn out loud instead.

[alt_pansy]

Yes. Exactly what I was thinking.

[alt_justin]

Ron,

I say, that's rubbish, what? Particularly in light of the list we made up last night of all the things we could do to help.

I've a mind to form our own Order and help them in spite of themselves.

For that matter, Sally-Anne could forge, I'd wager. Or I could, if I practised a bit, perhaps. I say, Sally-Anne, perhaps you're right and I ought to put Sirius to the question sooner rather than later.

-Justin

[alt_sally_anne]

Well, I'd be a better forger than Ron would. (No offense, Ron.) I don't have as steady a hand as you'd really want, though. It would take a lot of practice.

[alt_ron]

Yeah. You're right.

I mean, it's just a total laugh. Except it's not funny.

[alt_pansy]

That's awful.

I wouldn't have blamed you for hitting him. Not a bit.

And I think

Well, I think it's not an entirely bad thing, if they're being like that. For us to do things our way, at least for a little while. To sort out what we want to do, and how we'd go about doing it. Rather than being told.

[alt_sally_anne]

Yeah, that's it, isn't it?

If they DID let us in, we'd rather have to do what they told us. They'd probably make us VOW to do what they told us.

But they don't want to let us in. So....we CAN sort out what we want to do.






What DO we want to do?

[alt_pansy]

I don't really know. But I think that's something we have the right to figure out for ourselves.

[alt_ron]

Actually. One thing we ought to do is find out what Umbridge is at Hogwarts for.

And we're in as good a spot as anybody to snoop on her. I mean, we're all in CCF and some of us are counsellors for YPL.

I mean, really. She was Minister for Magic. So what's she doing, teaching civics and calisthenics at Hogwarts?

[alt_sally_anne]

That's a good question.

I mean what she's doing is DRIVING US ALL MAD but why would she even want to? She drove Professor Siz out of the YPL and CCF so she could take over. Why would she bother?

[alt_ron]

Exactly.

I say we try to find out.

[alt_ron]

Who's going to kiss up to her and try to get on her good side?

Pansy'd be good at that, really. She's always able to make people think she likes them when she's actually just being polite.

I mean. That's another thing I'm not really ace at.

[alt_pansy]

Oh, I'll just add that to the List of Skills, than, shall I?

Although it's hardly a compliment if it means I have to kiss Hembridge's arse.

[alt_sally_anne]

Well, it would have to be Pansy and not me. Hembridge doesn't like half-bloods. Which is awfully convenient for me, I have to admit, considering.

[alt_justin]

We ought to be thinking of ways to plan round whatever she might have in store for the next activity. If she's got something like over the summer, what, with the challenge to torture muggleborns or goad them into acting, what could we do differently?

-Justin

[alt_pansy]

Ugh.

It's too late to think properly about Hembridge, but if she's flattered enough, maybe she can think of other things she'd rather do?

I'll have to think on that in the morning. Which I will not enjoy.

[alt_justin]

I do think we ought to use the coins, particularly as we can control who gets them, what? We can organise properly in that secret room.

I think we each might list the skills we believe would be useful, to whatever sort of enterprise we decide to undertake.

And I think we ought to each list the nature of the enterprise (by which I mean to say, we ought to each say what we think we are willing to do, or should do, or what our goal ought to be). Perhaps we could meet on the train or when we all get back on Sunday?

-Justin

[alt_ron]

Well. We can sit together on the train, but I don't think we want to talk about this sort of thing then. Let's meet up Sunday night.

[alt_sally_anne]

We should meet in the secret room. The one where we had Hermione's party.

I don't think anyone else even knows it's there.

[alt_justin]

You know, something else I think we could do would be invent some charity or industry that requires support. Like that bally old nonsense about rebuilding Ireland, what? Something that people would look well horrid if they didn't support, but that really helped us help the muggles in the camps and such.

Or perhaps we ought to send the money to France and have them send us things back that the Protectorate hasn't got, but people want.

I say, we'd be the smugglers, then, what!

-Justin