alt_ron | I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good

So. Bill's said sorry.

What he actually said was... well. Some of it was just stupid things people say when they're trying to say sorry and the rest of it was actually pretty insulting, only I don't think he meant me to take it that way.

The best thing I can say about it is that he wants me to not hate him because he wants us to still want to join them. He even said he and Mum would ask if we could join, but he doesn't think they'll say yes. And I reckon he's right about that, cause I don't think he's going to try very hard to convince them.

What he wants is for me--for all of us--to go back to being patient and to just wait until they all decide they want to bother with us. But between now and then, he doesn't want us hacked off and doing stuff secretly. Which. He can hope that all he likes, yeah?

Argh. Yeah. I could really get hacked off all over again about what he said. It was-

I told Mum last night that I wanted to talk about what sort of job I should try for that would be really useful to the ~~Wan~~ Order and also what I could do now that would help them. So today, Bill says: 'You wanted us to tell you things we need people to do? Well. We need people who can forge documents. The other thing is that I have a bunch of analysts who do research for me.'

There's no way he even thinks I could do either of those things. Maybe I was meant to think he was complimenting me, but honestly? He thinks I'm stupid. Stupid enough to think he took me seriously.

The thing about Bill is he's always wanted to act like he's my second father, like he can tell me what to do and tell me off for what I shouldn't have done and like he has the right to punish me if I don't do what he says or if I'm not doing what Mum or Dad says. But he's not Dad, and he's not ever going to be him. And right now? Acting like that is just-

If he hadn't hit me so hard last night, I'd have hexed him for that rubbish. Another second or two and I'd've had my wand out. I'm serious.

And I don't know if he gets how out of line he was, but he does get that Dad wouldn't have liked what he did to me. At all. And I think he gets that Dad would have answered my questions and that it would all have come out differently.

And I think that scared him. Made him sad, too. But scared him that he might have messed up with me and not done what Dad would have wanted.

And he's too right about that.

So that's what it is. Bill's still being a git. The Order's going to meet. Tomorrow, I guess. And I don't think they're going to take us.

Sorry I didn't do a better job with Mum. Maybe it would've come out differently.